Little Belle died today. She lived almost twice as long as normal for a lab rat, survived cancer twice, and could put screws into a bucket. She's the one on top. Ratagast, the one on the bottom, died this summer. They were both awesome rats, and will be missed.  

The time has arrived to have pictures on the blog. Thanks to Will and Liam, I now know the joy of free picture hosting. Its called "Hello." You should check it out. You can clearly see it has made me more noble, even with an Aerobie on my head. 

***In order to read this post to its fullest effect you must first imagine Joe standing outside next to a tree with his mouth wide open and a look of utter amazement on his face. His hair is a bit rumpled, and perhaps he has put his pants on Backwards or inside out. Got it? Good. Go on with the reading, then.***

Life has a way of waking you up sometimes. You see, its very easy to get bogged down in the monotony of work, sleep, work, sleep, and to sometimes loose sight of the inconceivable joys and astounding sorrows which can occur in the world. Especially poingiant is the sequence when you are presented with Joy, then Sorrow, then Joy, then Sorrow, then Joy all within the space of a week. It can belittle your own self to such an enormous degree that you are faced with the George Harrison fact of existence:

"When you've seen beyond yourself then you will find piece of mind is waiting there. And the time will come when you see we're all one and life flows on within you and without you."

The past week has been such a week.

Such a wonderful week.

It all started when I found out my new car (now named "Sam Wise"), the one I have been fighting for for three months, would be ready right before Thanksgiving. In fact, I could pick it up, pick my mom up in Anniston, and along with Nick drive to South Carolina for Thanksgiving with Will, Megahn, and unborn Liam, Daddy, and the Hobbs. Every time I thought about this I was very happy. I then thought of Peeg and Stacy in Japan and Liz and Josh who had to work and was sad they could not be there, too. They were indeed missed.
That day, right after confirming that my new car was ready, I got a phone call from Mama saying the Beam's Vet Clinic had been badly damaged in a Tornado. The Beams are family friends. Sadness. Then I found out everyone was ok. Great joy and relief. And, oddly enough, the initial joy of my new car was much smaller, now in perspective.
We got to SC and had a wonderful time. Great food, family time, the annual football game where everyone had a least two great plays, and more food. Joy, joy joy.
Nick and I then left and stayed in Anniston for a night, sharing a Sonic feast with my grandparents. They amaze me. The dedication to eachother is amazing. More Joy.
The next morning, very early, Will called to say Meghan was in labor. Joy to the point of jitteriness. Nick and I drove up and got there right after William Arthur Leudders Chandler ("Liam") was born. I held him and he didn't cry. He is healthy, Megahn is healthy. Nick and I hung around to take care of some stuff for Will and Meghan so they could sleep a bit. Indescribable joy. No words, just a warmth and perspective that makes everything else, quite literally, ok. Nick and I headed back to T-town with tons of leftovers in a new car after meeting our new Nephew after having a wonderful thanksgiving in which countless lives (animal and human) were spared in a Tornado. Cloud Nine.
The day after we got back I got a call from my dad. My Great Uncle Arthur had died just a few days short of being 97. Sadness. Sadness for Grandma, his sister, and for the world at the loss of a wonderful man.
Recall, however, Liam's full name. It includes Arthur Leudders... Great Uncle Arthur's name. Liam was named for him. I was told that Uncle Arthur new of the birth before he passed away. Indescribable joy and awe.

Life flows on within you and without you.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Its a good feeling (when you are training to be a research scientist) to get some research up and going after a bunch of prep time. In the last week or so this has happened twice to me. I have run the data on my thesis pre-test and started a dialog with some folks in the field on how to improve my measures, and have started testing a scale that has been in development for a year or so. Good times. You would think that this means I have gotten much work done. You would be mistaken.
Imagine, if you will, a peaceful stream. Maybe there are some birds there, and you are sitting beside it on a warm day with a slight breeze. Perhaps you even have some Guinness in a cooler nearby. Now imagine if that stream were to become A GIGANTIC RIVER OF MOLTEN ROCK THAT CONTINUOUSLY POUNDS YOU washing away your blanket, all the birds, and making it very hard to drink the beer. In this story, the RIVER OF MOLTEN ROCK is my workload from here to the end of the semester. It seems never to end, it is very hard to get away from, and at times it burns (like when you are so tired from no sleep that you spill coffee on your face).
So I am busy, what else is new? Please do not take that story to be complaining. If my work were truly a RIVER OF MOLTEN ROCK, I would be a person who loves molten rock. But even molten-rock lovers can only take so much or it at once, you know? Geesh.
Outside of school, U2 releases its new album soon. All I can say is HOLY CRAP HOORAY! I am pumped, though not as pumped as my super-U2-loving-girlfriend Jenn, who gets so excited at the mere mention of the new album that at times I have to bring her a nice glass of water before she can really breathe again. I love her for that. And many other things.
Also, I PICK UP MY CAR NEXT WEDNESDAY THE 24th of NOVEMBER 2004!!! All I have to do is put my purty signature on the paper, put my old plates back on, and I'm good to go. The very first trip? Straight to South Carolina for Thanksgiving. SUPER GOOD TIMES WILL BE HAD BY ALL, and I will get there in my brand new ride. I wish Peeg and Stacy could be there, but they are sort of in another country. Speaking of Peeg and Stacy, they sent us all of this awesome stuff from Japan the other day. The treasures are too great to post all at once, but I will say there is a candy included called "Cream Colon" that is made by a company called "DevilRobots." Laughed. So. Hard. Then. Ate.
So Peeg and Stacy, thanks for the A cool Number One toys and candy. You will be missed at the Thanksgiving. And Peeg, you will be missed at the Chandler Family Football Game, though it doesn't matter since Nick and I would've totally won anyway. Totally.
Time to dive back in to the RIVER OF MOLTEN LAVA (insert scary music here)
I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

CRAP.

I'm moving to Ireland.

Crap.

Peace (ha!),
Joe

The saga is nearly at its end.

Saturn is replacing my car.

Yep, you heard me.

And here she is. She will be born this coming Monday the 8th in Spring Hill, custom built for little old me. I will take posession of her soon after. Suggestions of names are most welcome.

So after two months of, ummm, lets just say frustration, I will soon be driving a car of my own again. If you want details, give me a call. One thing I have learned from this is that information is powerful. For the good and the bad.

We'll just say it turned out very well in the end.

I can say no more.

In other news, Winter is finally coming! I am genuinely excited about wearing coats again. Also, the semester is at the point where everything you thought was a long way off suddenly isn't. So soon I will be driving back and forth to my office on no sleep again.

At least it will be in my own car.

And to end on the "lighter side" (what does that really mean?), today Jamie brought an array of Little Debbie snacks to the department. I was not aware of this until a friend pointed it out, at which point I literally jumped out of my chair and ran to the lounge, where I promptly ate a lunch of sugary goodness. Besides that, I had coffee for lunch. HEALTHY IS MY MIDDLE NAME OK. I am now paying for the goodness with wonky belly supreme and the sugar / caffine shakes. The goodness, she hurts so bad.

Also, you have to look at this.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

As we say in the States: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THA PEEG!!!"

Today, my brother Da Peeg turns older than he was last year. I will leave it up to him to let you all know how close he is now to the big TRIPLE X!

Also, as Peeg is reading this, he is IN THE FUTURE!!! Its already tomorrow in Japan, I think.

That is all for now. Back to work.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

It appears that blogger has decided to arbitrarily delete my last post. It amounted to the fact that I miss Peeg and Stacy, and that this was made apparent to me the other day when I couldn't even simply pick up the phone to call them. Now I must have a fancy pants phone card and wait until 2am. I did, however, find the TOTALLY AWESOME cd that Peeg made me for Molly when she was new called "Where Tha Cheese At?" and have been listening to it quite a bit these last few days. Yes.
Speaking of Molly, saga continues. After I got the car back with a "confident" repair of the problem and a sweet resolution package that included a new 75,000 mile bumper to bumper warranty on top of my existing factory warranty, she broke down. Again. On the interstate. Again. The same damn problem, and this time I was on the way to work. Lost a day's wages, lost a whole lot of patience, and nearly lost my life in an accident (again). At the moment the paper work is being reviewed for replacement or repurchase. In the meantime I am in my third loner car in the last four and a half weeks. This time it is a 2004 Pontiac GranPrix Widetrack. After naming the Chevy Silvarado I drove for a week "Brutus" and the 1999 Saturn SL2 I drove for two weeks "Silver" (she was silver), Nick and I are deciding between "Fatty Fatty Boom Ballaty" (the car is f-in huge.) OR "Gordon Palmer" (the name of the building where I work, and the same initials as Grand Prix). Please let me know your vote, or any other suggestions for that matter.
Other than the seemingly constant interruption that these car problems have provided, my life is nice and busy with school. In fact, I must go there now and go to class. But before I go, I would like to say that my brother Peeg, who sold me Molly, ROX JAPAN'S FACE OFF, and is no way connected to or responsible for any of the problems it has caused my lately. Every once in awhile there is a Lemon in any bunch or cars, and I happened to get one. So to the Peeg way off in Japan, YOU ROCK. And I am still very glad I got to buy a car from you. Yes.
I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Superman died today.

His contributions to the area of recovery from catastrophic neurological injury were tremendous, and his death will leave a big hole in an important area of research, more for his star power than anything else, but the impact will be felt just the same.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

I would like to take this opportunity to say that I miss Peeg and Stacy. It wasn't like I saw them all the time before, but now it is difficult even to talk to them on the phone. This hit me the other day when I was getting out of my office late at night. It was dark, and I looked up to see a crazy squirrel frozen in the streetlamp light. The situation would have made sense had it been in headlights, but apparently this squirrel couldn't tell the difference. When I said "hey Mr. Squirrel, its ok. Its not a car. You can move now", it didn't move. So the infrequent occurance happened where the spirit of the Peeg took me. I ran at the squirrel all wonkey and yelled "SQUIRREL GAME SQUIRREL GAME" in my best Peeg voice. This got the animal to move. I then opened my cell phone to call Peeg and Stacy to tell them, but then I realized they now live on another continent and such.
Also, it looks like my Mr. T action figure is breakdancing right now, but really he just fell behind my computer monitor and landed in a funk-a-licious way. Funky, funky.
I hope everyone is well (including the mister squirrel).

Peace,
Joe "Japan is pretty f-ing far away" Chandler

SO MUCH TO SAY.

So little coherence.

First, I will let you all know about the fate of my car, Molly. I will spare you the long version and just say that she has spent much more time with the people at Saturn of Birmingham lately than with me. Muchly much much more time. In fact, the longest I have driven my car since the start of the school year has been five days. The rest of the time she has been either sitting and waiting to go to the shop, or has indeed been in the shop. Twice she has inexplicably shut down on me in precarious situations, and that is the main reason for all of this. There was also a bad clutch repair gone wrong in there, but that is, seemingly, in the past. At this poin they have identified part of the probelm. I have a loner car right now, and have also been in contact with Saturn Coporate to talk about possible replacement of the car if they cannot nail down the problem. That is how all that is going. The loner car is nice, but is not my Molly. It has no CD player and has a considerable lack of "pizazz" and "zip" both of which I have grown accustomed to.

Second, FIDDLER'S WAS A BLAST, as always. But this year there were two things missing, in my mind at least: Will and Meghan, and Jenn. All had reasons no to be there, but all were missed. There were many people there, however, and we had a good time. I saw Jamie, Allie, David and his lady, Joey (ageless with inexplicably teenage Catlin and Adam pictures), and got to meet David's birth mother. I also saw David's parents, my parents, and Nick and Ashley. I had a nice cold that allowed me to sing like rumbly Johnny Cash Joe, and Mama sang beautifully as always. I also played dulcimer, which went as well as my current skill level will allow. Joey backed Mama and I up on everything, and a great time was had. At the traditional "Behind the White House Jam" the next day I lost my voice to the cold but gained the knowledge of how to play many Simon and Garfunkel songs thanks to Jamie. Before I left I bought Jenn a surprise, which I cannot reveal yet because she hasn't gotten it. I already miss evrybody I got to see and I look forward to next year when Will and Meghan will be back with a jammin' baby Liam and Jenn can again experience the grandness of ho apple cider and funnel cakes.

Third, I need your help in deciding if I am crazy. I am currently writing a grant with the idea of dually enrolling in a physical therapy program staring next summer while continuing to complete my PhD in conitive psych. If you think this is a bit crazy, please do let me know.

Fourth, if anyone knows a good cassarole recipe that includes chicken and cheese I would love to have it. A) I love cassarole, and B) the weather is starting to get cool enough to appriciate one coming out of the oven.

Fifth, I have a word for you: HOMOSCEDASTICITY. See, statistics can be fun.

Sixth, Julie chased her tail the other day for what must have been 15 minutes. She apparently did it once before in front of Nick and I didn't see it and so couldn't fully appreciate it. But I saw it today, and man, it was probably one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Even better than when a dog does it. The best is that she never caught it. She just got visibly tired and had to stop, scowling at her own tail while panting, obviously plotting her next move in eradicating her own appendage.

Seventh, THE END.

I hope everyone is well (to Peeg and Stacy: moshi moshi).
Peace,
Joe

My Ma has another Blog! After the first messed up some how, she re-established as the Liturgy Mouse 2. I have changed the link to the side accordingly. Go and read the many adventures of my Ma.

Do it.... faster!

In other news I am so tired. Film @ 11. Or not.

I hope everyone is well,
peace,
Joe

It is an uncomfortable thing when strangers wink at you.

Ok, don't say to yourself "no, it isn't Joe." Because it is. You know of what I speak.
I'm not talking about some nice old lady or corduroy-clad old man winking at you about the fact that they just gave you a nice piece of bubble gum (they have that right, you know). No, I am talking about one person winking at another person knowingly because they are both driving trucks.

You heard me.

While my car was being fixed, I was driving a full-sized Chevy Silverodo. Let me tell you, things are different up there, in the land of gas-guzzling-no-I-cannot-park-there SUVS. First off, you must master the art of not hitting others in a vehicle obviously designed to be driven on roads proportioned for some long-dead race of giants. Secondly, people in other trucks nod, wave, and yes, wink at you as if you were a member of the Masonic Order of Truck Owners. At first you think folks are just being friendly, but after awhile the pattern emerges too boldly to be ignored.

For example: I was driving said rental truck the last day I had it, when I came to a four way stop. A guy about my age was at the other stop. I motioned him on. He motioned me on. I motioned him again. He accepted. As he drove by, the guy clearly winked at me. I did not do what to do, so, with the windows down, I said "hey, thanks" to him. He winked again. This time I did not have time to respond, though I waved to no one in particular, not wanting to be rude.

Question to truck owners: does this happen to you too, or am I just a purty young man in the South? Please do tell.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Hi.
In lieu of a long and witty post, I will summarize the last few weeks with a numbered outline with explanatory asterisks:

1) School started (newly decorated office!*)
2) I ate some food (mmmm, food**)
3) I saw Will (busy***) and Meghan (pregnant****)
4) I saw Peeg (moving*****) and Stacy (moving as well*****)
5) I saw Liz (Ha******) and Josh (comp "party" usa*******)
5) I started 3,789,456 research projects here at school (!)
6) Nick set some Corn on fire********
7) My car broke*********
8) I got my car back*********
9) It broke again*********
10) I visited Jenn (beautiful and busy**********)
11) I got a rental car (Chevy Silvarodo!*********)
12) I made this post.

*The Jennifer Compton Honorary Office (she gave me the stuff)
**How do you do your Dale's?
***Never EVER throw away your paper
****LIAM!
*****JAPAN. (sweet baby jesus)
******Where did this nickname come from?
*******Party on, Josh
(!) No, really
********We still ate it
*********How I miss her (Molly The Saturn)
**********How I miss her more (Jenn my girlfriend)

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

My Ma has a blog! Congrats on jumping aboard the "Train of Technology."

Now my Dad is the only one left, and soon we will have him on the dark side...

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,
Joe

First off, HAPPY 34th ANNIVERSAY TO MY MOM AND DAD. See the last part of this post for more congratulations and mushy things.
Now, on to the post...

Ok, ok. Fine. I might be a little obsessed.
For the last few weeks I have been helping Jenn decide what type of new computer she should buy. She wanted (and purchased) a Mac, so I did a little research so I could be helpful in any resulting conversations. Now she has her brand-spankin' new Power Book, and I am hooked.

Hooked I say.

I have had my faithful PC, Stan, for a bit over 4 years now. He has done his time. All my college papers, archives of thousands of poems, song ideas, pictures, ALL (yes, all) of my CDs backed up and countless more MP3s. He shows his burden. These days he doesn't even like to start up. When he does, he is grumpy and slow. But I have stuck with him.

Until now.

I have been saving for a new computer out of necessity for a few months now, and I have all along intended to buy a supa keen one, as Stan was basic, even in his day. Until now I have had my heart set on a Sony VAIO, but no more. Now that Mac has virtually no problems communicating with the PC world AND I can get Microsoft Office for it, I have no choice. Here is why: Macs do everything I have ever wanted to do with a computer in an easy fashion. All these things come pre-installed. Examples: iTunes for music listening, iMovie for Chandler Sibling Joints, iDVD for archiving lots of stuff, and most of all GarageBand, the most beautiful home recording software ever. EVER. Now Will and Jamie and I will be able to swap music files from across the nation. And my stuff won't sound super crappy (well, at least the recording quality aspect of it). Also don't forget AirPort, FireWire, and, yes precious, the iPOD.

I was almost there in terms of money for a nice new computer. Now that I have decided on a Mac I am a third of the way there. But that is the price of beauty, I suppose. One day soon I will be posting from my new beauty, even if it means more Ramen noodles than before.

Also, Peeg and Stacy are moving to Japan. Here's what I have to say about that:

::joe stands up, runs around the psych department screaming, does a little jig and then returns to the computer::

Congratulations, and have fun. I think its one of the most awesome things in the world.

Not to ramble (RAMBLE RAMBLE RAMBLE) but the last two weeks many other things have happened. Jenn and I moved her into her new place in Nashville despite rain, a Cow Ant bite and the repetition of three brutal flights of stairs (hooray!), David came to visit (HOOGE!) and Carl and Joe came to visit (BACK FROM PERU AND OFF TO GRAD SCHOOL!) I have had a busy and wonderful time.

::WARNING I AM ABOUT TO GET MUSHY TO THE MAX::

These happenings (excluding the Mac thing) along with the facts that Nick gets back from training soon, my parents celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary yesterday, my cousin Danni graduated from college, and Will and Meghan are having a baby have brought me to this conclusion: I am tremendously blessed. I have unbelievable friends, an incredible girlfriend (she's included in the friend category as well) and a wonderful family who are all doing great things. I will say, to put a stop to my rambling that I am simply overwhelmed and can't put it all into words. Thanks to everyone for their love and friendship, and I hope we all continue to be blessed by eachothers' presence.

::END OF MUSHY SECTION::

Geez, that was a long post.

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,

Joe

I feel compelled to point the three or so people who read this site to my friends' site.

On it you will find their position on the Amendment to ban gay marriage.
I must say that I agree with both positions and that they put it in a way that reminds me why they are friends that I hold in such high esteem.

Also Joe John's description of his new hockey equipment is pretty cool too.

Look at the posts from Friday, July 16th and Wednesday, July 21st. 

And any others if you like.

Peace,
Joe

I am indeed a travelin' fool.

THE EVIDENCE:

Exhibit A: I often use driving as a way to calm down, listening to good music and rocking out, even at stoplights.

Exhibit B: I once considered buying some driving gloves.  No, really.

Exhibit C: I have owned my 2003 SATURN ION (Molly to her friends) for just over a year now and she has over 26,000 miles on her.

This leads me to the next part of the post, which is that I am driving to Nashville this weekend to help Jenn move into her new place.  Molly will not be making the trip.  Aquinas (my mom's truck) will be there in Molly's stead, as she can carry big things and Molly can only zip past big things in third gear.
Many Chandlers are travelin' lately, which leads me to the next part of my post which is about Nick.
My younger brother (who I can still remember ducking for cover and screaming at the sight of Da Peeg with a pillow) will be going to Ft. Bragg this weekend for a two week stint with the Special Forces.  He'll be in the field trying to stay away from SF members.  This fact makes me:

A) Proud
B) Scared
C) Man, I love Peanut Butter!
D) Pray that the f-ing war will end before Nick is commissioned.
E) All of the above.

The answer is E.

Also, Peeg and Stacy are flirting with Japan.  Or moving there, maybe (!!!).  See their websites for details.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe "Ramblin' Man" Chandler

Congratulations are in order on several fronts.
 
1) Happy Birthday to my Dad!  Congrats on turning 35.
2) Happy Knowing the Gender of Your Baby to Will and Meghan!  Congrats on picking an awesome name.
3) Happy Finding of a Place to Live to my girlfriend!  Congrats on not letting the process get to you.
4) Happy Not Being 100 Degrees for Like Two Days to the Weather!  Congrats on not making making my skin melt off my face like last week.
5) Happy Almost 200 Posts on the Blog to Myself!  Congrats on keeping up with telling others of the mundane happenings that make up your everyday life (except that fake shooting.  That was exciting.)
 
That is all.  If I have missed any congratulations, please let me know.  I will most certainly add them soon.
 
I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Not much to say right now, I just felt a post was needed. But that does raise a good point... is is the quantity of posts or the quality?
So here I am posting, but my brain is a little empty and fried from the day (which is far from over) so the post will not be my best. So should I have posted in the first place? Well, I suppose that doing this does show some sort of "dedication" to my blog. But do you think that my blog would get its feelings hurt if I had waited another day or so and had something interesting (or not) to say? I don't know. I tend to anthropomorphize things anyway. You should see my family and pets. Or instruments. Or cars. Ok, everything.
I give human voices and personalities to everything. So I guess if I put forth the effort to give my blog a voice it might be saying, "Stop it, Joe. This post has really not gone anywhere or said much of anything. But I still like you, because you are the one who gives me a voice and can basically decide what it is I say."
I realize that the fact that I just scolded myself through my blog by making it talk could be interpreted as mentally unstable. Don't think of it that way. I prefer for you to think of it as "healthy" and "creative."
Man I need to take a nap.

I hope everyone is well,
Peace,
Joe

And now...
THE ADVENTURES OF JOE AT TARGET AND THE THRIFT STORE.

Part One: Target.
So I got off work the other day and remembered that I had a few things I needed from the grocery store. I didn't have a list (VERY unlike me) but I thought that I could probably remember it once I got there.
How wrong I was. The overwhelming enormity of STUFF at Target is enough to drive any work-weary individual to the very depths of distraction. Or enough to make them forget most of their list. Anyway, I figured that if I couldn't remember it, it wasn't all that important. That left me with the two things I could remember: beer and fabric softener.
There are two things that I find most irksome: clothes that are clean but not soft, and a refridgerator without beer at the end of a long day. So I picked my farbic softener refill (I use the same bottle and recycle the rest!) and then headed to the beer aisle. There I was presented with quite a dilemma. Lately I have been buying very cheap beer. I mean VERY cheap. Like PBR and Old Milwaukee, the kind you can get a 12-pack for $5.50. The kind that tastes like the taste you have in your mouth the morning after having too much of any beer. I am a graduate student supporting myself for all intents and purposes, so cheap beer has been the way to go. But not this time. I broke down and got the Sam Adams Summer Ale. How I love a true, full lager. I didn't go so far as Guinness, but there was a definite break down in the cheap beer buying system.
ANYWAY, when I got up to the checkout, I pulled out my ID, as per normal. I am used to being ID'd and it does not bother me. Well the cash register lady took one look at what I was buying, then took a look at the fact that I was holding my ID, and said, laughing, "I don't need your ID, hon. Only people over 21 would buy just fabric softener and beer." She chuckled a bit more, and I left, realizing that she was probably right.

PART TWO: The Thrift Store
So last night I went to the thrift store to purchase women's clothing that would suffice to pass itself off as being from the 1930s. The reason will com soon. First, the shooting.
So I was outside of the thrift store talking to Jenn when I noticed a car slow down parallel to a few men sitting on some benches outside the store. The men in the car started yelling at the men on the bench, and I was pretty sure that a fight was about to ensue. Just then a man in the car held his arm out the window, there was a loud BANG, and a man near the bench (who was now standing) fell over. The car, after jolting for a moment, sped off. I thought to myself that the man had been shot, so I ran over there.
I found the man clutching his chest and screaming DIOS MIO!!! over and over. I asked if he was Ok and started to try to evaluate the scene. He stopped screaming and just looked at me. Then I noticed that his shirt was quite devoid of any blood and he was definitely not shot. I asked again if he was ok, and he turned and muttered something to his friends in Spanish too fast for me to catch. They then continued staring at me. Thinking back on the situation, I realized that the car had backfired at a most inopportune time, and that the screaming Spanish man had simply been shaken up. That was my cue to leave. I said "Adios" under my breath and called Jenn back to talk more about 1930s women's clothes.
You see, Jenn is going to a wedding this weekend in Arizona, and she has to find a costume for the rehearsal dinner where they are playing out a murder mystery from the 30s. She looked unsuccessfully in Birmingham for some clothes that would work. Since she was strapped for time I volunteered to look at the thrift store in T-town.
When I got there I knew what I was looking for (I had talked to costume expert Liz) so I went to the skirts and blouses. Now looking back I suppose it was a very odd sight to see a skinny white man holding long wool skirts up to himself while trying to hold a blouse up as well. At one point it became too much for one of the workers, and she let out a huge guffaw while saying, "he be tryin on a skirt! Ooooo! Look at 'im in them blouses!" Not wanting to come out on the bottom of this situation, I turned around to her and winked. She stopped laughing and looked very confused.
I found some clothes, purchased them, and left. When I got home I had a Sam Adams Summer Ale, folded some nice soft clothes from the dryer, changed the cat box, and went to sleep.
Adventures.
So if you have gotten this far, I commend you. I don't think I have ever written a post this long with so little actual content.

I hope everyone is well,
Peace,
Joe

Professor Monkey says, Da Peeg has the answer!

Sea Monkey. Majestic. Regal. The answer to the cat / dog debate.

For those of you who voted, Prof. Monkey thanks you. There was no intention on the part of Prof. Monkey to cause any division or cat / dog hating. It was an exercise in pure Monkey Academics, and Da Peeg found the illusive answer.

I will post more later, as I have much to relate about my adventures at the Thrift Store and Target. No really, they were adventures.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Professor Monkey asks:

"Which is your favorite, and why?"

Please indicate your choice in the handy comments section below.

Peace,
Joe

My oldest brother Will is busy. So busy, in fact, I think he must have gotten a time-turner from Dumbledore.

Joe: "Did you see Will come in?! When did he get here?"

Anyway, I was talking to Will today about a paper he is writing and he told me one of the funnies things I have ever heard.

Ever. Heard.

His paper is on slang, and touches on, among other things, how slang affects school kids who have English as their second language (ESL kids). As you might imagine, much can be lost in translation. Or in the case I am about to relate to you, added.

Will was looking for a funny example of just how mystifying some English slang can be to ESL kids. He's using a magazine that is entirely in slang in his example. One of the adds has a picture of a lady on a cell phone at a golf course with the caption, "Chris on the back nine? Hells yeah." Now there is a website where ESL folks can enter slang into a computer for translation into their language, then back into English to understand what it means. Here's what happens when you use this slang phrase for a Spanish Speaking individual:

SLANG: Chris on the back nine? Hells yeah.
SPANISH: ¿Chris en los nueve traseros? Infiernos sí.
BACK INTO ENGLISH: Chris in the nine buttocks? Infier to us yes.

Sweet sassy molassy I have barely stopped laughing since he called and told me all this.
It has me tripping on very cold stones.

Other than that, I work, then work somewhere else, then work yet again at another place, then sometimes see my girlfriend. Also I have reclaimed my guitar from the ferocious Denny Chimes.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe "Chris in the nine buttocks? Infier to us yes." Chandler

Little Belle is a rat. She lives with me.
She also apparently is a ninja.

A ninja capable of amazing feats of escaping and stealing peanut butter. Because if there are objectives of a secret clan of ninja rats, I imagine that escaping cages and eating large amounts of peanut butter would be in their creed.

Because I am tired, I will not delve into the details of how I became privy to the fact that the lab rat who lives with me is trained to accomplish things I once thought were only attributable to Bruce Lee. But she is.

I am relatively busy at this point in the summer. Three jobs and a renewed joy of "reading for pleasure" (an undertaking that involves the use of non-academic printed material) have my days pretty much tapped. I have seen Jenn a few times (hooray!) because she is in Birmingham and my job often brings me there. Well really my car brings me there. But I drive my car. To Birmingham. To work. Then I see Jenn after work. Yes. Tired.

But when I think I have a whole bunch to do I think of all the stuff my brother Will is doing, and what I am doing turns into a pleasant stroll with no amount of work involved. Go Will. Go.

To other things. The Harry Potter movie is awesome. Twice. Go see it. Twice.

Today I watched President Reagan's funeral. He was sworn in to his first term as president two months before I was born. He lived 93 years. Whatever you think about his presidency, the man had a great sense of humor and kept Jelly Beans in the Oval Office. Enough said.

As a final word, watch out if you have any rat-like pets. Your peanut butter supply may be in jeopardy.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

I SAW A SEA COW.

Oh yes. I may not have posted in awhile, but there is good reason. I have been far, far away on...

VACATION!

I spent most of last week with Carl and Victor in a Boca Grande, Florida. While there, we performed several acts of relaxation, including (but not limited to):
1) Reading on the beach
2) Eating on the beach
3) Drinking on the beach
4) Swimming in the 80 degree water
5) Diving for Sand Dollars in the 80 degree water
6) Swimming after manatees

Ah yes, all this and more. The island is a trip back in time. Everyone rides around on bikes and golf carts and no one wears shoes (because we all know there were no shoes in the past). Much fun, much needed. AND I got a "Chandler Tan" meaning my skin tone is now close to normal, and will be for at least another two days!
I left last Friday morning, and got into Birmingham where Liz picked me up. We went to Western Supermarket to get breakfast and saw what we thought was a stray dog. When we asked inside we were informed she was a "greeter dog." No lie. The dog shows up in the morning and then leaves apparently. After that we went to the Botanical Gardens to eat. We fed some absolutely crazy fish who almost jumped out of the water to get the pieces of biscuit we offered them. And I found the biscuit to be mediocre at best.
That day (still Friday) I drove to Murfreesboro where I met up with Jenn to go to a friend's wedding. We had a great time. Its always nice, the weddings. People are happy, there is alcohol, and in this instance, it was a lot like a class reunion of many friends from 'Southern. The wedding was beautiful, and the reception lasted 3.5 hours at least. And there was much dancing (yes, even Jenn and I danced. Without the aid of alcohol!) and merriment. And all rejoiced and feasted. After all of the fun, my friend Jenny Carter (I used to say it like JEEENNNNYYY CAAAARRRTERRR) is now Jenny Logan. Jeremy is a great guy. I guess I should start practicing. (JENNNNNYYY LOOOOOGGGGAAAAN).

Tomorrow I drive back up to Tennessee to leave for Chicago for a few days for the APS conference. I am a social butterfly, I tell you. Flap, flap.

All this adds up to the fact that after my first year of grad school I have had nothing but fun for at least a solid week, and will continue on that trend for a few more days. After that its off to work... But with Jenn in Birmingham I have a feeling this summer will be super keen to the jiggity max.

Jiggity Max.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

So this guy walks into a bar and says,
"Hey! The semester is over!"

The funny part is, this is not a joke. I have finished my first year of grad school!

::Grand music plays::

All my grades are in, and I pulled a 4.0 for the year. As Yoda might not say,
"Happy am I."

In other news I have started the three jobs I am working for the summer. Job #1: Work in my home lab on thesis, etc. Job #2: Work in a clinical lab doing interviews with kids and parents for a grant. Job #3: Do weekend assessment of promotion candidates for Mercedes Benz. Again, Yoda: "Busy am I."

Also, everyone on earth is getting married. I have been to two weddings already this year and will go to at least two more in the next month. Much happiness and tossing of Penguins will ensue.

And Chicago is in three weeks. Fun times.

And to save the best for last, Jenn and I have now been dating for a full year (well, actually a year and four days now). On May 8th, 2003 we were set up by one of her best friends to go to the One-Act Plays at BSC. I made a totally dorky fool out of myself, and the rest is history. Good year, I can tell you.

I hope everyone is well,
Peace,
Joe

Perfect Job.

Host.

Keen hats.

Superpowers.

(Writing a Grant will make you go crazy).

I hope everyone is well,
Peace,
Joe "What was that, Zorak?" Chandler

So this person got around to doing it before me.
Check out the poem at the end of the page. Especially nice.

Sometimes when I am in the shower or changing my oil or making pancakes, I think about how great things would be if I were a 30 ft tall robot.

But who doesn't?

I hope everyone is well,
Peace,

Joe "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings." Chandler

This is Roy's Largest Root.

Yeah, it sounded like a punk band to me, too.

::Fresh from their tour of Europe, Scandinavia and the Subcontinent, it's ROY'S LARGEST ROOT!!!::

The name of their first album could be "No Spericity, No Worries."

Saturday (before learning about Roy's Largest Root) I was in the elevator at the library. I stopped at floor three and another guy got in. We nodded at each other using the guy nod of greetings. After a few seconds he said, "Its a damn shame to be inside on a day like today." He was right. It was indeed a beautiful day. I responded with a hearty "Yep." The elevator stopped and he got out. We nodded the guy nod of farewell.

About an hour and a half later I got back on the elevator. Again it stopped at floor three and again the nice guy who seemed to appreciate a nice day got on. He looked at me and said, "So we meet again" like he was my cartoon nemesis. Well this presented a problem to tired Joe. The comment before was positive, harmless, and a perfectly acceptable piece of small talk. But this was different. For a Chandler, any comment that brings to mind a cartoonish situation is responded to in a cartoonish way. I was tired enough that my automatic reaction almost slipped through. In my best imitation of a booming super-hero, I started to say, "YES, FOUL VILLAIN. AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON!" Instead I caught myself around FOUL VILLAIN, resulting in my response being "YES foul vill," with my voice trailing off with each progressing syllable. He looked at me for a moment. I shifted my feet. Then the elevator door mercifully announced "Floor One, going up" in its disturbingly disembodied female voice. We got off and went our separate ways, only to meet again on the dark streets of Gotham.

But it really was a very pretty day.

I hope everyone is well,
Peace,

Joe "stats can be fun, foul villain!." Chandler

Three things today.

Number One, I think all people should take this advice.

Number two, this seems to have happened.

Number three, my stats exam today might have stolen my brain. Probably for ever.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Through a recent conversation with Jenn, I have acquired the knowledge that imagining a friend or family members' face in a cloud formation can be quite alarming.

You know when you look up on a nice day and see a turtle or an ice-cream cone "in the clouds" ?

Well don't try that with someone's face.

Also, I apparently could not be a French Waiter. I tried to imagine myself as such (the reason is far too complicated to tell here) and all I came up with was a Gondola Man.
They live in Italy, and Las Vegas. Not France.

And that leads to the logical question: When is the semester over, Joe? When will you be finished with all of your school work?
The answer: NEVER***

I hope everyone is well, and no one's face is in the clouds.
Peace,
Joe

*** = May 5th.

WHOA.

Blogger is being odd.
Today alone, posts have disappeared, the Buddha went away, and Blogger asked me to buy it some alcohol.

Blogger is underage, you know.

I hope this resolves itself soon. Not sure what real impact it has on me other than the fact that I've had so much coffee it seems to matter.

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,

(COFFEE)

Joe

Please excuse all the bitching that seems to have infiltrated my personality lately. Today, after a bunch of good news yesterday and some good conversation with family and friends, I have realized that I AM GETTING PAID TO GO TO SCHOOL. I AM LIVING WITH MY YOUNGER BROTHER. I AM DATING A WOMAN OF MANY WONDERFUL QUALITIES. I HAVE A 20th ANNIVERSARY OPTIMUS PRIME. I HAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT ALL COULD BE VERY SUCCESSFUL AS WRITERS FOR CONNAN O'BRIEN. I HAVE... a whole bunch of nice things. Before this becomes a "feel good" fest, look at this. That ought to throw you off for a moment.
Keeping in the trend of writing about peeps, I have a story. The other day I purchased a bunch of yellow Peep Bunnies on post-Easter sale from Target. I have eaten many, and two nights ago I had a thought:

"Marshmallows are good warm. Peeps are made of Marshmallows. I will heat and eat the bunnies."

And so, I did. I put two Peep Bunnies on a plate in the microwave and commenced with the heating. "10 seconds should be good" I thought outloud. So I went to the fridge to get some water to have with my peeps, and just as I was picking up the pitcher, I heard a sound like a muffled beat on a bass drum. I ran over to the microwave just in time to see my peeps at the brink of EXPLOSION. I stopped the microwave, but it was too late.

"I AM SO SORRY PEEP BUNNIES!!!" I said outloud.

When I opened the microwave, there was peep everywhere. The only intact piece was the head of one of them, with the eyes so expanded by the heat that it looked like their last peep moments were spent in utter terror.

I still ate them, to pay them the respect the deserved. The back story is that earlier that day I had made rice in the microwave, setting it to its highest power. Here's a little equation for you:

HIGHEST POWER MICROWAVE + 10 seconds + Peep Bunnies = PEEPSPLOSION!

Keep that in mind next time you are craving the sugar on sugar goodness of a peep.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

So as 99.999% of the people who read this blog know, I am in graduate school. I am also new to graduate school. What most people don't know is that my advisor is also new to UA. This newness has come to the forefront in a recent dilemma: I am drowning in work. Yes, friends, I mean flailing around in a sea of research, seeing no end. This came about in an unfortunate combination of newness, specifically mine and Jamie's (my advisor).
You see, last semester wasn't all that hard. It was challenging, but I managed the first 4.0 of my life (yes, ever. The highest semester GPA I got in college was a 3.9, but no 4.0s until now). I was happy, and apparently overconfident. I brought my spring schedule to Jamie with the intent of taking three full time courses including an upper-level seminar. On top of that I thought I'd add some thesis hours and contemporary issues. I thought I could do it. Jamie thought so, too. But now I am learning the errors of my ways.
I brought a similar schedule to Fran and Dave yesterday to ask them about some classes. They looked at it like I was crazy. They basically told me that there was no need for me to take on that kind of load so early, and that it might impede progress on my thesis. I said that I was in the process of finishing up a semester pretty much just like that one. After telling me of my craziness they helped me whittle it down to something more manageable. Now that the last three weeks of this semester are upon us I can see why this is a good thing.

Whew. That sure was a lot of bitching. Sorry. But I had to get it out that my overzealousness for the fancy "book learning" may have finally caught up with me.

In other, much more important and much more happy news, I have been dating Jenn now for eleven months and not managed to run her off. Next month makes a year. Time has some very large and efficient wings.

I hope everyone is well, and is not drowning in research articles.
Peace,
Joe

I had forgotten what it was like to relax until these past few days. I have not read academic type things for at least 48 hours and do not plan on doing so for at least another 12. Take that, responsible reading! Instead I have spent my time doing non-school related things. I have been "sleeping in" (read, "waking up a few minutes after 8am") and reading for "pleasure" (read, "falling asleep after making it through 4 or 5 pages of a Michael Crichton book"). I have also been paying more attention to my dreams and random thoughts. SEGWAY... I had a dream about a face-eating sandwich last night.
I enjoy subway sandwiches. They come in so many different ways, all at your command. The "sandwich artists" deserve their title more than any other fast food moniker. But what happens when you mix a Veggie Delite with a face eating monster? CHAOS OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. In my dream Jenn and I went to subway. We ordered a Veggie Delite from the sandwich artist, who happened to be a duck. But this duck was quite tall and able to make a damn fine sandwich, or so I thought. When we sat to eat, the sandwich attacked Jenn. It started to eat her face. Well I took care of that in short order, karate chopping the fiend off of her face and into the trash (I am always a Ninja in my dreams. Its assumed). Well Jenn was unhurt, so we went up to the duck and asked why such a thing would happen. He just blinked at us (can ducks blink?) and gave us our money back. Then we got into my Black 1982 Volvo 242 GT Turbo with complete recording studio in the trunk and drove off, commenting that it must have been the peppers. They'll get you if you're not careful.
I have been in Nashville now for two days and will be heading to see Nickel Creek in Athens with some of my friends tomorrow. Should be a great time. I'm off to relax a bit more, and perhaps try to remove an ink stain from a sweatshirt using the Miracle we mere mortals call Goo Gone. That stuff will get anything off of anything. Probably even a rabid sandwich off of your face. I should keep it handy next time I have such a dream.
Now I am hungry.

I hope everyone is well
Peace,
Joe

It is Spring Break. In honor of said break I have made a mix CD called "Don't be sad, Condi, Its SPRING BREAK!" to make ol' Condi Rice happy again. She's been sad on the news lately. I thought some Trogdor (track 1) would cheer her up.
"So what are you doing for your break, Joe?" you aren't asking yourself. Well, right now, I'm in sunny Anniston, soaking up some sleep. I've hung out with my grandparents and parents and Linus, our greyhound. Tonight (or tomorrow morning, if the rain comes) I'm off to Nashville to see Jenn for a few days. Then to Athens to see Nickel Creek and David, Drew, and Carl. Should be grand.

So this post WAS going to be longer and more entertaining, but I'm sleepy, and its time for a nap. Ma and I had Dad's BBQ for lunch, and its calling me to sleep.

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,
Joe

My siblings truly know me. I don't think there are too many almost 23-year-olds who would freak out so completely over getting a toy for their birthday, but this couldn't have gotten much better. The details along with nostalgia and potential for all-encompassing nerd-dom combine to make me one happy guy. I have the original, the 2nd generation, and now the 20th anniversary special edition. You wouldn't believe the attention that went into this thing. The eyes glow, its heavy die-cast metal, its more complicated to transform than the original, and the Autobot Matrix of Leadership lights up. I know that most folks will keep it in the box for collection purposes, but this one will be employed in hours of play. Nay, days, months, years. There are parts of me that will never grow up, and I'm sure if I were to see Optimus die in a movie again, I would still cry profusely.
In other birthday news, Jenn got me Transformers playing cards, the new Norah Jones CD, a Mindy Smith CD (we saw her open for Nickel Creek), and Trivial Pursuit Volume 6. All four gifts are awesome, and each demonstrate to me that she knows me better than I know me sometimes. I mean, Transformer playing cards? YESSIR! And music and a game. Whadda gurl, I tells ya.
Mama and daddy gave me money, which will be used to get me to the APS conference in May where I'll be presenting a paper with Shane and two of my friends from 'Southern. Grandma and Grandpa got me the traditional "money to match your age" deal, and told me to blow it on something for myself, which will inevitably turn into CDs. Today we went to 11th Ave. grill, had cake, and finished off the night with Champagne and pictures of Optimus Prime boozin' it up with Grimlock (pics soon to be posted on my homepage). All in all, a great birthday before my birthday even got here. Thanks to everyone for a supa keen time.
In other news, I presented my thesis idea on Friday to the faculty and it went off without a hitch. There were no questions I couldn't answer, and everyone gave great suggestions to further my idea. So now I'm on to the formal phase of getting together my committee and crunching the data and the like. If all goes well I'll defend this time next year and then only be two years from my PhD. Yippee!
In yet other news, I am tired. So much fun this weekend has made me a sleepy guy. It all makes me not want to go back to the working tomorrow, especially since my spring break is only on week away. But alas, there is work to be done. Fun work for which I am paid. Whine-whine. I know, my sheltered life in academia is sooooo hard.
I'm off to transform Optimus Prime one more time and then get some sleep. When I wake up in the morning, I'll be 23 years old. Weird.
I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

HA! In sheer defiance of myself, I am posting. I have been working on this presentation so much I think I might go a bit looney, so I'm taking a short break. And really, thats all thats going on. Jamie put up a website for the new band "Blue 88s." I say "the band" because I think I may be a part of it, I'm not sure. I'm in the picture he named Blue 88s from Will's 30th, and Will and I did some recording this past suummer. If I am, great! If I am not, then I'd like to join! Anyway, the site is nothing but a picture so far, but its cool. Plus I think that being there will provide some motivation to record. Though we'd have to be a sometimes band, seeing as hwo we all live in different states.

Alas, the presentation, she's a' callin'.

I hope everyone is well,
Peace,
Joe

Hey I have added a link to my new homepage! (Its called "Home"). That's right, I have my own webspace and have finally figured out how to use it. Its a bit shabby at the moment, but you can take a look if you have nothing better to do.

Also, I present the idea for my thesis next week, that is why I have not posted in awhile and why I will not be posting for awhile hence.

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,
Joe

I took Peeg's geek-quiz and I am a woman. Check it out:

But the small oversight of my gender does not bother me because the description is way cool:

Possessing a rare combination of wisdom and humility, while serenely dominating your environment you selflessly use your powers to care for others.

Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.

I hope everyone else can find their inner powerful-immortal-she-elf-ness.

Peace,
Joe

HOLY CRAP, OKAY!

Its March 4th, and its brilliantly sunny and 74 degrees outside at 11am.

I know this trend will become hot later, but for now its the type of day I imagine the Beatles wrote "Good Day, Sunshine" about.

Can't help but put you in a good mood. I hope everyone else has an equally anomalous weather day!

Peace,
Joe

Ok, so I am pre-testing my very first all-by-myself-big-boy-researcher experiment this week, and I'm a bit scared. I spent a large portion of the day making last minute corrections to my materials and protocol, and its all kind of odd that I am in charge of conducting an experiment on folks. Its a measure test for my eventual thesis, and its the first time I have felt like I was really in grad school. Jamie (my advisor) is answering questions when I ask them, but its basically all me at this point. That is scary in so many ways.
So beyond my basic insecurities I had a purty good day. I got a whole bunch done and bought some new tools for my car and Nick's car, determined to outsmart the man that drives up dealership maintenance costs. The tools include:
1. A 2-ton hydraulic jack
2. Two 2-ton jack stands
3. A 3/8 to 1/2 drive converter
4. A brand spakin' new Torque Wrench with 3/8 drive and 10 to 75 lb/ft capability

And synthetic oil. Five quarts of it. Also, super wiper blades with a lifetime warranty. And I comparison shopped for all of it (smart shopper Joe!) and had a huge gift certificate to Sears which helped with the wrench. All in all, a good day for tools. Plus, this saved me a lot of monies over the Saturn dealership cost (no offense to Saturn) which for a grad student is good.
Oh man, Nick made dinner and its ready to eat. I must away to the land of food.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Oh man look at this.
As all of my family members know and many of my friends know, these names have a lot of relevance. Pnutbu and Jelly are Turtles. Oh happy day.

I am so tired that this is funny to me. Please, someone confirm that it is funny.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Wow. I just got so spooked at the idea of how much homework I have to do that I forgot to say this:

I hope everyone is well.

And I do.

Peace,
Joe

PS I added a link to Ashley's site. Its pink. Go see.

They finally asked it. I knew that reality TV might end up here. Just another upbeat sign that we've digressed to the point that public execution is again a palatable idea. Sheesh. I have an idea: why not a reality TV show about reality TV shows being cancelled? Supa, I say.
Also, I hope he's right. Last time he did this, I was actually a member of the Green Party on campus. I was also a Young Democrat, though, and my idealism has given way to the often harsh reality of George Bush's last four years of "Huh?" So please, Mr. Nader, don't take the leftists away from us. Indies, ok. But please, we need all the help we can get.
On better notes, I went to Millsaps again this weekend to see Jenn's younger sister play the top-ranked DIII women's team in the nation. Actually Jillian's whole team played. Although they lost it was much fun. Jenn learned that I mumble a running coach's commentary to myself during live basketball games, and I learned that everyone else can hear me when I do that. Jillian played well, especially in the second half. I put 400 miles on my car in a day, pushing her to 17,000 already. Yes indeed, I love to drive.
On the driving note, no one makes Air Filters for my Ion except Saturn. I looked all over town Saturday and everyone looked at me like I was asking for the plague. So its off to Saturn this week, where I will buy the filter and change it in their parking lot, thus avoiding the four bazillion dollar labor charge. Don't get me wrong, I love Saturn and their service department has been great, but changing this filter is almost as easy as it has been for me to blab away on this post as I avoid my statistics homework. Which reminds me, I have to go do the very thing that caused me to do my last post. So if you're looking for someone to blame for that, look no further than this book.

I just got out of Stats class, and it was probably the best one I've ever had. That is because at the end of class we were talking about what to do when the Assumption that your variables have equal variance is violated. That in and of itself is useful, but the answer is what prompted the greatness of class... you must TRANSFORM THE VARIABLES.
Thats right, as soon as Jamie said that I heard Optimus Prime say, "VARIABLES, TRANSFORM!!!" and saw various statistical measures becoming trucks and other vehicles. The rest of the class (only about five minutes) I couldn't get the song out of my head. Please forgive me, but it was so funny to me that I was visibly cracking up during a discussion of distribution normality. Its ok, my classmates are used to it after half a year. So imagine the following to the tune of the Transformers Cartoon Theme Song:
TEST STATISTICS
MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE
TEST STATISTICS
DIFFERENCES DISGUISED
PARAMETRIC RAGES ITS BATTLE TO DESTROY THE EVIL FORCES OF
NON-PARAMETRIC.
::reapeat in robot voice::

VARIABLES, TRANSFORM!!!

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

I have added a link to Mr. David Clark's website under the guise "Apple Master!" because he is awesome. You should go there. DO IT... FASTER!
Peace,
Joe

This weekend was R O C K I N '

I mean it, it really was. Will's 30th borthday party was so much fun I really didn't want to leave. We ate, drank, played guitar, played football and AEROBIE! and told stories that had many of us laughing so hard that we couldn't breathe. Its always fun to see the whole family, and Jamie and David are considered in that statement. Will's Page has a link to some pictures of the whole shindig. One of the best weekends I've had in my whole life. Seriously. Ever. Yep. Hmmmm. Fragment. Another Frangment.
And this weekend Jenn is coming to T-Town! We are going to be super adventurous for Valentine's Day and either 1) Hike and eat OR 2) Read and eat, with some quilting and guitar playing thrown in. We are party animals, I tell you. Its all about the night life. And by that I mean that we enjoy staying in at night.
I have a cold. So if you think about it, please tell my cold to go away before I see my girlfriend for the first time in a month. It has two days.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Yo Yo Yo.
Ma.

Sorry, that was uncalled for.
On a totally unrelated note:
You know, parking near your building on a campus that is known for its parking problems is a very satisfying feeling. I parked so close today that I could see my shiny green Saturn as I entered the building. Its a very dark and windy day too with rain forcasted, so parking that close also means I will not be caught in the rain for long on my way to lunch. That really does excite me. You see, most of my days start with the struggle to fight the parking system, and today I have scored a mild victory. I have very much reading to do, and some coffee calling to me, so I will now go and be productive. I just thought the old site could use some updating.
I hope everyone is well and has great parking spaces.
Peace,
Joe

Check out what Jenn sent me today.

I thought it was awesome, but would've been even better as Transformers. You know, Autogod versus the Devilcons.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Rats can sometimes be quite hilarious.
I woke up this morning at 2am to the sound of my old lab rats chewing on their cage. Not an abnormal thing, as they enjoy chewing and are nocturnal. But what ensued was quite out of the ordinary.
Now as most of you know I am a little grumpy when I am tired. I usually sleep through the rat noise as I am used to it now, but they were especially loud last night. So at 2am I stumbled out of bed, switched on the light, and prepared to thump the area of the cage that they were chewing on in the hope that it might make them stop somehow. As I primed my index finger in a pre-thumping form, Little Belle (one of the rats... and no I didn't name her, Jenn did. I named the other Ratagast the Hooded. Get it? Like the Brown wizard left out of the LOTR movies. BTW they are a "hooded" strain of rats) stood on her hind legs, swayed momentarily, then looked me squarely in the eyes, and squeaked. Then she went back to chewing. As I prepared to thump again she stood up a second time, this time squeaking twice. Now I was very tired, but Little Belle is also very smart. In my somewhat odd opinion she was asking me not to thump the cage. So I didn't. She then jumped to the top of the cage, hung from a bar with her front legs like a monkey, fell down, and threw pine on Ratagast. That last part didn't have much to do with the rest of the story other than it was funny. Rat Monkey. Hehe.
Other than that small aside, school is dominating my life, as it should. Lots of reading, and lots of researching. Also, Stats.
That is all.
I hope everyone is well,
Peace,
Joe

I went to the Nashville town this weekend and had a splendid (yes, I said splendid) time. Jenn and I always manage to make reading our academics stuff together into a fun thing. We spent a bunch of time at the Starbucks on 21st. They have a fire place. Also it seems that where ever we sat someone needed to plug in their lap-top. Jenn was quite obliging in the respect. I spent almost my entire Starbucks gift card that I got from Santa. It snowed. A very fine weekend indeed.
A major side bar to the weekend is the fact that when ever I go to Nashville my car comes back with either a ton of sap or a ton of bird poo all over it. I do not bother to wash my car before going to see Jenn, because I know I will need to wash it when I get back. This results from the giant trees all around her house. Beautiful, but deadly.
I got back on Monday and indeed it was time for a washing. I took Molly to the nearest car wash bay (30 seconds from our house) and gave her a good wash. Some of the poo was so stubborn it took the high pressure hose right up against it to get it off. Afterwards, I even rinsed her with the reverse-osmosis filtered low pressure spot-free rinse. Fancy. I drove her around all day all shiny and then went home. Dinner, grocery shopping, homework, sleep. Then the next day came.
I was about to leave the house when I heard an odd sound outside. I looked out and there appeared to be hundreds of dark black birds in our yard. "Cool", I thought. I got Tori and put her in front of the window. She was transfixed. I was in a good morning mood and was thinking about the awesomeness of bird migration. Really. Then when I stepped outside the day took its real course.
In our neighbor's driveway someone had parked a car that looks just like Jenn's. Now I was still a little sleepy at this point and seeing the car I got all excited and fell down the stairs. I caught myself just in time to see the wonder of bird migration poo all over my freshly poo-void car. But on the plus side, I had left John Lennon on in my CD player. It was playing "Instant Karma." That got me thinking that at some point I must have pooed on a huge flock of birds in a former life. Or birds could just hate me or something.
The rest of the day has been grand though, and I am about to eat a healthy lunch here at school that I packed for myself to cut down on driving and spending money on lunch and to streamline my time here at my office. I can't decide if this is a professional, grown up thing to do or if the peanut butter and jelly sandwich with corn chips sitting over there in my lunchbox is a true indication of my emotional age.
Either way, the sandwich will taste might good.
I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

First and foremost, "mad props" to my dad for having surgery on last Thursday and already being back at work yesterday (Monday). He is getting better all the time, as The Beatles might or might not say.
So I'm back in class and this semester is going to be, ummm, difficult. I knew it was coming, but I simply didn't imagine the magnitude of it. I have more reading to do than ever before in my life, and on top of that I am in a stats class. Now those of you who know me (especially those who are related to me) know that no Chandler should really be in a class called "Advanced Statistics" or Advanced math of any kind for that matter. Its not hat we can't do it, mind you. We Chandlers are pretty darn good at what we put our minds to. Its just that the math is a bit challenging for us in many respects. The main problem I have is that I find most of it terribly boring. I am all about the theory and the thinking about research design and question postulation in this here science, not the number crunching. But alas, its part of the job, and I will learn to love it. I do have an awesome prof teaching it. That will help. My other classes are all interesting while being super reading intensive. My only textbook is in stats; the rest of my reading will come from hours and hours of copying articles. Then hours and hours of reading them. But again, I love what I am doing. I'm just not sure what I've gotten myself into.
In other news, I found a recliner! Yes, my friends, it is a beautiful Lane Recliner that I found at the thrift store for a measly 20 bucks. After a steam clean, thorough wipe down and a new (Big Lots for 18 bucks) furniture cover, I am living the comfortable life. I also (Big Lots again!) purchased some matching pillows and a cover for the futon after realizing (with the help of Jenn) that my living room didn't really match. Well now it does! Throw in a $6 fleece throw from Target and the knitted throw my Mom is making for Nick and me (yes, it is cute) and we have a brand new place to sit around, with X-TRA COMFORT!!! And all of it cost me under $50, which didn't come out of my projected budget thanks to a refund from the bank. I should do some sort of show called "HOW TO RE-DECORATE YOUR LIVING ROOM AFTER YOU REALIZE THAT IT LOOKS A BIT SHABBY FOR UNDER FIFTY DOLLARS AFTER GETTING A REFUND FROM YOUR BANK UNEXPECTEDLY". Yes.
Also, I am now a proud member of the Alabama Credit Union. I joined when my other bank started to charge me all sorts of crap since I am now out of college. The ACU gives me all sorts of free stuff and awesome perks for being a UA employee. My checks even have Denny Chimes on them. Yep, I am officially becoming a resident of Tuscaloosa.
Besides that Nick and I are trying to eat all healthy for the New Year. We actually do eat quite well normally, but we are trying to add some continuity to it by loosely following the Mediterranean Diet, with lots of fish and pasta and fruit and dark green vegetables. But, mind you, I am considering Sonic as part of the Island of Crete.
I have much reading to do. I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

And the Happy New Year...
Why yes, hallo!
New Year's was, ummmm, eventful. Two of my best friends (who were dating in a very Friends the T.V. show manner) broke up and it all happened within the New Year time frame. We went over to Carl's new house and talked it all out. On the plus side, there was much Champagne. Jenn came over too, but she was so tired from working on her Sermon (she gave it this last Sunday) that she had a half glass and got some much deserved sleep. I woke her up at midnight and kissed her, and she went right back to sleep. The night progressed as such until about 4am. Then we had omelets. Mmmmm. Omelets.
The friday after New Years I had one of the most interesting experiences of my life. Jenn's younger sister Jillian plays college basketball for the Millsaps Lady Majors, and quite well you will find if you follow the link. I had never seen her play, and so went with the Comptons to see her in Jackson, MS (that is where the college is). The twist is this: it is a four hour drive from Birmingham to Jackson, and we (by we I mean Mr. Compton, Mrs. Compton, Jenn's Grandmother, Grandfather, Jenn, and me) rode together in one car (a Crown Victoria) to Jackson and back in the same day. Yes, it was a very fast turn-around. An eight hour six person one car turn-around. But as bad as the set-up might sound, it was very much worth it. Jillian had a bit of an off-night and they (the team) were outmatched, but she played brilliantly and with a huge amount of toughness (she came out after the game with a black eye) and Jenn's family is awesome. Her dad drove the whole time, and everyone was fun to talk to. It is, in many ways, an experience I will never forget.
The following Sunday I drove up to Huntsville to see Jenn deliver her very first Sermon. She did it for a friend of hers who is the pastor there. And man let me tell you my girlfriend can preach. She spoke on Environmental Stewardship, something she is passionate about, and delivered a message that had many in the congregation on the verge of tears, and many others transfixed for the entire time (something you don't see often when anyone preaches). She drove home her point without insulting anyone, and had me thinking for the rest of the day about it (actually, I'm still meditating on it this week). Afterward we went to Waffle House, then came back for the 11am service, then went out to lunch with the head pastor and his wife, who used to be at First United Methodist in Anniston (its a small world, after all). We went to Piccadilly, always a good idea.
Also of note this week, the fuel filter on my car was recalled. Saturn fixed it promptly and for free, keeping in the "Saturn is Awesome" profile I have for them now. If they hadn't done it so quick there couldn've been an engine fire. Not. Good.
I start class again tomorrow. I have Advanced Stats this semester. In other words, most of my posts should be in gibberish for the rest of the Spring, seeing as how the math affects Chandler Brains.
I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe