Please excuse all the bitching that seems to have infiltrated my personality lately. Today, after a bunch of good news yesterday and some good conversation with family and friends, I have realized that I AM GETTING PAID TO GO TO SCHOOL. I AM LIVING WITH MY YOUNGER BROTHER. I AM DATING A WOMAN OF MANY WONDERFUL QUALITIES. I HAVE A 20th ANNIVERSARY OPTIMUS PRIME. I HAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT ALL COULD BE VERY SUCCESSFUL AS WRITERS FOR CONNAN O'BRIEN. I HAVE... a whole bunch of nice things. Before this becomes a "feel good" fest, look at this. That ought to throw you off for a moment.
Keeping in the trend of writing about peeps, I have a story. The other day I purchased a bunch of yellow Peep Bunnies on post-Easter sale from Target. I have eaten many, and two nights ago I had a thought:

"Marshmallows are good warm. Peeps are made of Marshmallows. I will heat and eat the bunnies."

And so, I did. I put two Peep Bunnies on a plate in the microwave and commenced with the heating. "10 seconds should be good" I thought outloud. So I went to the fridge to get some water to have with my peeps, and just as I was picking up the pitcher, I heard a sound like a muffled beat on a bass drum. I ran over to the microwave just in time to see my peeps at the brink of EXPLOSION. I stopped the microwave, but it was too late.

"I AM SO SORRY PEEP BUNNIES!!!" I said outloud.

When I opened the microwave, there was peep everywhere. The only intact piece was the head of one of them, with the eyes so expanded by the heat that it looked like their last peep moments were spent in utter terror.

I still ate them, to pay them the respect the deserved. The back story is that earlier that day I had made rice in the microwave, setting it to its highest power. Here's a little equation for you:

HIGHEST POWER MICROWAVE + 10 seconds + Peep Bunnies = PEEPSPLOSION!

Keep that in mind next time you are craving the sugar on sugar goodness of a peep.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe