And now...
THE ADVENTURES OF JOE AT TARGET AND THE THRIFT STORE.

Part One: Target.
So I got off work the other day and remembered that I had a few things I needed from the grocery store. I didn't have a list (VERY unlike me) but I thought that I could probably remember it once I got there.
How wrong I was. The overwhelming enormity of STUFF at Target is enough to drive any work-weary individual to the very depths of distraction. Or enough to make them forget most of their list. Anyway, I figured that if I couldn't remember it, it wasn't all that important. That left me with the two things I could remember: beer and fabric softener.
There are two things that I find most irksome: clothes that are clean but not soft, and a refridgerator without beer at the end of a long day. So I picked my farbic softener refill (I use the same bottle and recycle the rest!) and then headed to the beer aisle. There I was presented with quite a dilemma. Lately I have been buying very cheap beer. I mean VERY cheap. Like PBR and Old Milwaukee, the kind you can get a 12-pack for $5.50. The kind that tastes like the taste you have in your mouth the morning after having too much of any beer. I am a graduate student supporting myself for all intents and purposes, so cheap beer has been the way to go. But not this time. I broke down and got the Sam Adams Summer Ale. How I love a true, full lager. I didn't go so far as Guinness, but there was a definite break down in the cheap beer buying system.
ANYWAY, when I got up to the checkout, I pulled out my ID, as per normal. I am used to being ID'd and it does not bother me. Well the cash register lady took one look at what I was buying, then took a look at the fact that I was holding my ID, and said, laughing, "I don't need your ID, hon. Only people over 21 would buy just fabric softener and beer." She chuckled a bit more, and I left, realizing that she was probably right.

PART TWO: The Thrift Store
So last night I went to the thrift store to purchase women's clothing that would suffice to pass itself off as being from the 1930s. The reason will com soon. First, the shooting.
So I was outside of the thrift store talking to Jenn when I noticed a car slow down parallel to a few men sitting on some benches outside the store. The men in the car started yelling at the men on the bench, and I was pretty sure that a fight was about to ensue. Just then a man in the car held his arm out the window, there was a loud BANG, and a man near the bench (who was now standing) fell over. The car, after jolting for a moment, sped off. I thought to myself that the man had been shot, so I ran over there.
I found the man clutching his chest and screaming DIOS MIO!!! over and over. I asked if he was Ok and started to try to evaluate the scene. He stopped screaming and just looked at me. Then I noticed that his shirt was quite devoid of any blood and he was definitely not shot. I asked again if he was ok, and he turned and muttered something to his friends in Spanish too fast for me to catch. They then continued staring at me. Thinking back on the situation, I realized that the car had backfired at a most inopportune time, and that the screaming Spanish man had simply been shaken up. That was my cue to leave. I said "Adios" under my breath and called Jenn back to talk more about 1930s women's clothes.
You see, Jenn is going to a wedding this weekend in Arizona, and she has to find a costume for the rehearsal dinner where they are playing out a murder mystery from the 30s. She looked unsuccessfully in Birmingham for some clothes that would work. Since she was strapped for time I volunteered to look at the thrift store in T-town.
When I got there I knew what I was looking for (I had talked to costume expert Liz) so I went to the skirts and blouses. Now looking back I suppose it was a very odd sight to see a skinny white man holding long wool skirts up to himself while trying to hold a blouse up as well. At one point it became too much for one of the workers, and she let out a huge guffaw while saying, "he be tryin on a skirt! Ooooo! Look at 'im in them blouses!" Not wanting to come out on the bottom of this situation, I turned around to her and winked. She stopped laughing and looked very confused.
I found some clothes, purchased them, and left. When I got home I had a Sam Adams Summer Ale, folded some nice soft clothes from the dryer, changed the cat box, and went to sleep.
Adventures.
So if you have gotten this far, I commend you. I don't think I have ever written a post this long with so little actual content.

I hope everyone is well,
Peace,
Joe