Holy Crap.

Well, the last post is from 2008... time to get going again? I think so. And I have a few ideas how to recreate this blog. Stay tuned, no one!

28 is GREAT.

I turned 28 yesterday. It was a great day: lunch and Mass with Tonya and Mama and Daddy, followed by Tonya presenting me with the most beautiful basketball shoes of all time. HYPERDUNKS. Yes, it must be written in all caps. HYPERDUNKS. They are the lightest, most comfortable basketball shoes EVER. HYPERDUNKS. Say it. HYPERDUNKS. Of course, these will automatically make me awesome on the court. HYPERDUNKS.

I also got many phone calls, every one of which made me happy. That glow has radiated over into today, lending Monday an excellent quality is usually lacks. Rock. On.

And music, and money, all of which point to the general fact that I am obscenely blessed with family and friends. So thanks, everybody. It was a great day.

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,
Joe

Crap.

Five takes is the name of a show on the Travel Channel. I have committed cryptomnesia, inadvertent plagiarism based on a breakdown of source memory, or the ability to know from where we heard something. The insidious part is that the familiarity bias, where things we encounter more often seem more positive, made the name seem really good. But it wasn't my idea. And being a psychologist allows me to give a name to my sorrow.

Suggestions for another snappy name for the book?

I hope everyone is well.

Peace, Joe

I can post from my iPhone

Woo-hoo!!! I have been looking for an application to post from my iPhone, and then finally had the "bduh" moment of remembering the phone has a fully functional browser. So I'm doing this normally, just with my iPhone.

Woo-hoo!

Joe

OR A PODCAST

OR we could have a Five Takes Podcast.

Or both the Podcast AND the book.

w00t!!!1

Five Takes, Take One

A few months ago, while thinking about where Tonya and I would be this summer, I wrote down a list of potential jobs that had nothing to do with the skill set I have been working on for the last 6 years (aka, the PhD). It looked something like this:

Dream List

1. Write book make millions.

2. Do other things make millions.

3 Be professor make millions?

So number three put me back where I am now, facing the fact that a doctorate can't even save you in this job market. And even if it does, you will still probably find yourself squarely in the middle of a yearly pay grade that many people with normal undergraduate college degrees spend on one car. Number two is valiant, but vague. Number one works, except for the "make millions" part. Unless we're talking millions of keystrokes, but even that would be pushing it.

So I refined number until it finally became the idea of writing a book with my siblings called "Five Takes." In it, we would each have a go at recounting our own version of a particular set of stories we tell whenever we get together. These stories usually center around something stupid and hilarious we did as kids. At least, that was the initial idea. There are plenty of other types of stories to tell. But I though we could start with the funny ones.

One story that comes to mind for me (because I am the central character) is the time that I erased the TV. Yep. Erased. The. T.V. So I thought I'd take a stab at the beginning of what I envision for the book... This particular chapter would consist of our five takes on the day I erased the T.V., perhaps with a preface from our parents. This is an initial shot, no editing or anything. So here goes, for my part.

Five Takes Chapter 1, Take 1.
The Day the T.V. Died
by Joe

I am a scientist.

Today, that statement is somewhat substantiated by training, and degrees, and the fact that someone pays me for it. When I was nine, that statement flowed from my inability to not experiment with things. I could say my compulsion to experiment, or my hobby of experimentation, but that would not do it justice. The only way to capture how I approached things when I was a kid is to state it as a double negative. You will soon see why.

I kept all of my experiment notes in a Transformers Trapper Keeper on wide-ruled note book paper. The formula for recording an experiment was always the same. First, I would write a question at the top of the page. Second, I would write down the tools I needed to answer the question. Third, I would record the time, date, and procedural details of each attempt to answer the question. For example:

Question: how do squirrels climb the oak tree so fast?

Tools: binoculars, net.

May 3rd, 1989, 2:47 PM.

I just watched the squirrels climb the tree chasing each other. One is missing a lot of its tail. They are fast, one is faster that the other. The one with a lot of its tail missing is faster.

May 4th, 1989, 3:20 PM.

I just tried to catch the squirrel with a lot of its tail missing. The net I have is not good enough.

May 8th, 1989, 10:18 AM.

I am going to ask Grandpa today why squirrels are so fast when they climb the oak tree.

And that is how many of my experiments ended. I would ask Grandpa. He usually knew the answer, or knew a better way for me to get at the answer. He was my scientific guru.

Every once in awhile I would get graphing paper from Grandpa, if I thought the experiment in question deserved extra attention and more flexible note-keeping space. One day, Grandpa gave me a stack of graphing paper and two beautiful electromagnets. He proceeded to shave the side of a screw with a metal file and then pick up the shavings with the magnet from what appeared to be a bazillion feet away. I was in awe. He told me to ask before I used them for anything, especially if it involved sharp metal, like nails or screws. And he told me not to use them on the cars. I nodded my head, barely hearing his words, lost in my next set of experiments.

I left Grandpa's garage and set about seeing which rocks would stick to the magnets...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

So I'm going to have to add to this later, but you get the point. I honestly want to get this thing off of the ground in the next year. And of course that means getting everyone together for a brain storming session. At the beach. It is a necessity.

By the way, I just saw a squirrel run up the magnolia tree in my front yard. They really are freakin' fast.

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,
Joe

Rollin' With my Kitties

Consider:

Spring Break + Chest Cold = Saturday at home

Saturday at home + foiled plans due to chest cold = multiple TBS movies

Multiple TBS Movies + cold medicine = long naps on recliner

Long naps on recliner + awesome blanket = kitty magnet.

Today, I have been rollin' with my kitties.

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,
Joe

Quote.

"So. The caterpillar has emerged from its cocoon... as a shark. With a gun for a mouth."

That is how my day went today.

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,
Joe

Eight is Great

This is the 8th post of 2008.

::Balloons fall. Noise makers make noise. Peasants rejoice. OR maybe I just did a dance while sitting on my couch. Take your pick::

That equals last years total, but doesn't really touch past years. I just spent a bit of time looking over old posts of mine and old posts from family and friends. This, I think, is part of the point of blogging. It was really grand. I seemed to have an affinity for saying that in college. Grand, I mean. Its a good word, but I fear I used it too much. Just busting it out sounds good, though. Grand.

I was looking because, as recently as a few years ago, the posts from this time period were filled with things like, "took X final today. Brain oozing out my earz." (Yes, with a Z). THe "Finals" posts were closely followed by blissful accounts of Christmas break and eating too much. This year I am not taking any courses (I haven't in almost two years), I'm not teaching any courses (I'm on a research assistantship), so the "end-of-the-semester" demarcation doesn't mean much this go-round. I work until the 19th, but it won't really stop then, as I'll be collecting data for my dissertation as much as possible until my golden ticket gets punched.

And that is the thing... finishing up these last few months of school has taken on the feel of constructing a golden ticket to leave. I haven't really felt like a student in awhile. I feel most comfortable when I teach (professionally speaking. I feel most comfortable overall when I am having a glass of whiskey on the couch with my wife). I'm not sure when the switch happened, but it has happened. I'm ready to have a profession. My interview @ Spring HIll is January 12th and 13th. I want them to give me that chance at a profession. Because, honestly, I don't feel like a student anymore.

Yes, yes, I know. "The more you know" and all that. I'm going to be a college professor, and keep learning. But there is a difference between how I feel now (and have felt for about a year), and the ability to wear a t-shirt that says "I is a college student" and complain about eating too many noodles. See?

In music news, I just bought "Vampire Weekend." Its a cool sound... like Spoon and Cake had a baby who was born with a tube-amp keyboard. You should take a listen.

And if you are a visual learner, as I am, here is a picture that sums up my post:

Head on Fire.

I hope everyone is well!

Peace,
Joe

Short Goals List, Part 2

Something that I didn't specify, but is awesome anyway:

-Alabama is 12-0. We stomped Auburn last Saturday 36-0. I was there. Ah yes. Roll Tide.

An update to a central tenet of the original list:


-I just found out I have a face-to-face interview @ Spring Hill in early January. One step closer to "Get a job." And an awesome step it is... it fits everything I want to accomplish professionally, like the job was made for me. Keep your fingers crossed! That's right... for an entire month and a half!

And in the spirit of keeping up with this blog:

-I've started a Twitter account for quick, mobile updates. Its on the right of this page. We'll see if I can keep it up.

I hope everyone is well, and that the leftover Turkey and or pie you are eating is still tasty.

Peace,
Joe

Winter Walk

brittle morning cold
breaks, refreezes with each step
frost on my front yard

------------------------

neglected pumpkins
sunken in in the sunshine
Christmas lights blinking

------------------------

what does winnie the
pooh have to do with Christmas?
strangest flag i've seen.

------------------------

Put it back.

I found out today that someone has stolen my debit card number. Again.

I don't know anything about them except that they love GAP.com and Amazon.com.

They love those sites a lot. Or as much as my limited bank account allowed them.

My credit union is closed today, so I haven't gotten to do anything about it except:

1. Be mad
2. Cancel the card on an emergency number
3. Be super mad

To the person out there pretending to be me:

1. I don't have much money
2. You're an $@%$#&%^$!
3. Put it back

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Sunday Ride

During my blogging hiatus I've taken up cycling. Nick gave me his old mountain bike (thanks dude), and I've spent the last few months fixing it up for a commuter / mid-length riding application. I've been mixing running with cycling, and getting better distance in each than I ever have before. So, using Jamie as an example (thanks Jamie), I'm going to occasionally post good runs /rides. I do use this mountain bike mostly for road riding, which I understand is not ideal, but it was a free bike and I really enjoy it. I have no idea what good cycling benchmarks are, so these stats might be slightly embarrassing... but it is something good to write about, so here we go:

Date: Sunday, 2008.11.09

Start Time: 3:00 PM
End Time: 3:45 PM

Type: Mix of road and grass track

Length: 10 miles

This is my "regular ride." I've spent a good bit of my time in this pursuit trying to figure out a bike-friendly route around town. Campus has some good commuter lanes now, and the River Walk has a bike path as well. The problem is first getting to campus, then getting to the river, then connecting the two portions of the river walk. Folks in Tuscaloosa aren't used to cyclists actually riding in the road (or wearing a helmet for that matter, but thats another post), so I often get funny looks in the transition areas... especially when I get on Jack Warner Parkway for about a half mile in between the two sections of the River Walk path. One day they will be connected, but for now I have to get off on a grass track for about a half mile, then weave my way onto Jack Warner Parkway for another half. This is not as stupid as it sounds, I promise. It is not a busy section of the parkway, and I make sure to go biking during slow times traffic-wise, like early in the morning or on Saturday or Sunday afternoons.

Anyway, today was a great ride. The temp was perfect (about 60 degrees), there was little wind, and the roads were all but deserted. The river looked amazing, too: no clouds in the sky, so the turning leaves reflected crisp and clear in the water. In fact, it was so nice I nearly ran into a tree. But that was my only close call, and considering how long I've been doing this (about 3 months now), thats not too bad for me.

Now its off to the grocery store, Mass, and then thank you notes from the wedding. A thoroughly quiet and enjoyable day.

I hope everyone is well!

Peace,
Joe

Short Goals List

In November of last year I wrote myself a short goals list to be completed by November of this year:

1) Marry Tonya

2) Help elect Barack Obama

3) Get job*

*Tenure-track position at small liberal arts college preferable.

So here we are in November of 2008, and I've hit 2 out of 3. I have an awesome wife and our nation now has an awesome President-elect. I cried in both instances, and am proud of that fact.

Number three is still up in the air. The job market is, to put it lightly, total crap right now. I have one promising prospect, and that is Spring Hill College in Mobile, Al. In all honesty, it is a dream position for me. Small, jesuit, liberal arts college in a cool town with an amazing educational tradition. I would get to continue my training blend of social psychology and gerontology, and the college is right across the street from a retirement community where I could continue my research and intervention work. Finally, they have a nursing program with a certificate in gero, so I could fulfill my dream of being on the ground floor of educating medical professionals who dominate patient contact time with older adults.

For points 1 and 2 on the list, I had a 90 / 10 mix of confidence to nervousness. Confidence of the sort that tells you "this is right, this is true, this is awesome." Confidence of the sort that speaks to you from your core, like it has been sleeping there for your whole life and just woke up. The 10% nervousness should be familiar to anyone who has ever wanted something so great. That tiny voice asks, "Can this actually happen to me? Do I deserve this?" And then it happens, and you cry. Partially for the confirmation of the 90%, and partially for the death of that 10%.

I am struggling to find the mix for point #3, my dream job. This time the nervous component is higher, I think. But that has a lot to do with the aspirational aspect of it compared to marriage and a new president: it is a mandate on the last 5 and a half years of work; it is the test by which spending my 20s still in school can be proven worthwhile.

I dreamt of my perfect partner, and I got her. I hoped for a transformational president, and we got him. I want a job where I can help others learn to think critically, live in a community where service is king, and use my energy to improve the lives of older adults. We'll find out about that one soon.

Also, if it helps, you can imagine a little slow strings music to go along with this post, since I just wrote something that could have been the "on screen journal" section of a TV melodrama. You know, whatever facilitates the mood :)

I hope everyone is well!

Peace,
Joe

Sabbatical

Facebook. Dissertation. Job Applications. Marriage. Apathy. What do all of these have in common?

They can all be categorized under "reasons why Joe's blog is more stale than gas-station Krispy Kremes."

Some are happy (marriage), some are obvious (facebook, apathy) and some really shouldn't be excuses, but sources of post material (job applications).

The meta-reason for lack of posting, however, sits squarely in the middle of my latest dilemma: information overload.

Not overlord, overload.

I've been looking closely at my own productivity lately, as is hip among academics these days, and have found myself, er. Hmm.
Not sure how to end that. I suppose I haven't. Found myself, that is. Because it is difficult to see yourself when covered in emails, Facebook applications, iPhone apps, website updates, visual voicemails, and the like. Earlier this week I had a day where I spent 9 hours at work and got nothing done. Wait. Strike that. I didn't produce anything. I consumed many things, mostly digital things. And a sandwich. And too much coffee. Anyway, when I got home, exhausted from, something, I decided to make a list of reasons why I didn't get anything done.

Aha, you say. But lists are time-wasters, too. Well, yes, they are. But a list of your lists and things that produce lists can be quite helpful. Point-in-fact:

I estimated that about 3 hours of my day is spend haphazardly absorbing information. Easy information. Like emails, and online news, and facebook pages. These things used to be filler at some point, I think. Now they are sort of the bread and the filler. Schedule a meeting and prioritize the goals therein? Sure! Execute said meeting? Well, I'm not sure I'll have time. Let me check my email.

I never really had to worry about this phenomenon in the past, sort of like my weight or staying in shape. But now, just like staying thin and in relative shape, I find I have to work at it. To further the analogy, it appears as though I need to more carefully control my information diet. In college I ate what I wanted, exercised when I wanted to, and blogged prolifically. But now, for deeper reasons to be covered in another post, I must be more disciplined on all these fronts. Thus the attempted re-start of this blog. Its like whole wheat crust on a pizza, or running on very cold mornings. Its something that I enjoy in its most basic sense, and something that, occasionally, I need to force myself to take part in. As part of my info diet, I am setting aside time for this blog. I'll probably take it from unstructured Facebook time. Because writing is better than e-stalking, I think.

So have a light beer in celebration, and jump for joy three times a week for 30 minutes. Mr. T. Loves Buddha has returned.

I hope everyone is well.

Peace,
Joe

Directions toward goals for things and hard working kids like me Mr. President.

So I admit it.

I DID watch old Bushy boy's final state of the union.

But worse than that, I watched the democratic (oops! I mean American!) response.

I think the good Gov. of Kansas might have completed a salient thought. Perhaps. But I did not catch it.

So instead, I give you the greatest series of videos on the interweb. Thanks to Josh for enlightening me!



I hope everyone is well. Also, Happy 2008!

Peace,
Joe

SHREDS.

A friend of mine showed me this today. It is hilarious in all caps. Like this: HILARIOUS! A very creative guy has taken famous guitar players and overdubbed live performances with his own considerably less talented (but no less awesome) performances. This one is my favorite so far. If you want to see more, just search "shreds" on YouTube.



I particularly like the clapping.

I hope everyone is well!
Peace,
Joe

Motivation Mud

This weekend I had the great pleasure of seeing family and friends that I don't get to see often. Work faded into the backdrop, cowering in the face of football with toddlers, Trivial Pursuit saturated by inside-joke style hints, and the simple happiness of sitting next to loved ones you don't often get to sit next to.

But now that I am back in my office, back to the windowless concrete box that houses almost five years of graduate school effort, the work has revived its bravery. It is demanding my attention in a way that does not match my motivation to do it. You see, even though I have showered twice today, I am covered in motivation mud. Strangely enough, this viscous substance does not imbue you with with motivation (as the name might imply); rather it slows your motivation-turned-action into a stilted, spiritless crawl. No soap for it. You just have to keep moving until it dries out, cakes, cracks, and finally falls off.

I do not hate my job. I just really love my family and friends. One day I'll figure out how to avoid the post-trip let down. But for now I have to get back to walking the mud off.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

A few Haiku

I won't discuss the game against LSU. It hurts. Instead, here are a few haiku about the game:

1) 2 hours before kick-off:

Sea of Crimson red
Early fans who sit for hours
Waiting on the Tide

2) Then as the seats filled up:

Silver rows of seats
Slowly filling with fans and
Uncomfortable

3) Then right after the final whistle:

How much did you pay?
Referees can now retire
Blown calls, blown calls. Damn.

That is all.

I hope everyone is well!
Peace,
Joe

Something new

Those of you who know me know that I like to write a poem now and then. Those of you who know me also know that most of my poems happened in high school, meaning they read like the liner notes to an unsigned emo album. But I have kept up with it since then, and I thought I'd post of few of my latest attempts here on the old bloggity blog.
For the past few weeks I've been training for a half-marathon timed for about when Nick gets back in country next year, so we can run together. It has been hard, and has revealed to me what an "ex-athlete" I have become... I can still do athletic stuff (like play basketball), but not in a prolonged fashion. Case-in-point: keeping dedicated to the running has been tough early on due to, among other things, what I like to call my grad-school baby (known in other circumstances as an emerging gut.) So I wrote out some self-encouragement the other day, (semi) beat-style:

"Run"

I'll not be a slave to the master switch
Gotta get outside to scratch my itch
Feet to pavement, shoes to grass
Until these empty feelings pass
Until these devils shut their mouths
Get up, get out, move around
Gotta eat for strength and not for joy
Save that for your work now, boy
Breathe twice deep, and sweat, and smile
Give yourself to the world so wild
Thank your arms for the work they've done
Stretch your legs in the rising sun
Run now boy, run
Run now boy, run.

I hope everyone is well!
Peace,
Joe