So lately I have developed a tendency to not update my page for awhile and then write what appears to be a short novel about my experiences over the last few weeks. This entry will not be an exception. So now, here is...
JOE'S ADVENTURES IN MANY DIFFERENT PLACES!!!
Over the last two and a half weeks I have been in Birmingham, Anniston, Baton Rouge, Nashville, and Washington, D.C. So many trips on Molly (my new Ion) that she now has over 5,000 miles on her already. Yes my friends, this is a brand new car.
I will start a few weeks ago when I went to Birmingham to help Liz move some beds. We had a great time. It is always fun to hang out with Liz, and every time we move huge stuff I am quite amazed at her all the strngth packed into her relatively not huge self. Kind of like those red-hots you used to get for Halloween, you know?
After that I went with Carl to Baton Rouge to surprise Joe John on his Birthday (it was actually a few days late, but oh well). We did a trip down there and back in just over 24 hours. We ate Cajun food and I might have had something alcoholic to drink. I don't want to alarm you! The morning we left I had to consume lots of Pepto Bismol and Advil. That is all that is needed to explain the time we had. It was great seeing Joe and David. Joe has an old garadge he has dubbed "the Drinkin Shack" that has hockey equipment, a Sega Genesis, Nintendo, and PS2. It was grand.
After that I went up to Nashville to help Jenn move into her new place. The house is beautiful, and the area is right around a cool little strip called Hillsboro villiage. The moving went really smoothly with her parents, and by the end of the trip her dad had offered for me to use the trailor he has to move to T-town. That was a good thing, according to Jenn. We had a few days after that to bum around town and really just be with eachother for the first time in a awhile. Actually, the first time ever that we have had time alone together for any substantial period. And she still likes me!
After exploring Nashville we headed off to D.C. to see my brother Geoff and his fiance Stacy. The drive was beautiful (though a bit long and rainy). When we got there we had days with just Stacy, just Geoff, and just the two of us. We went hiking all arounf D.C., walked to Roosevelt Island, saw museums with Stacy, and generally had an awesome time. On Sunday, it was particularly beautiful. So Geoff, Jenn and I all went hiking at a place called Great Falls. It was breathtaking, really. In more ways than one, as you will see.
We got all loaded up and headed out on the trail. We saw the falls and the trail skirted a huge sheer rock face that paralleled the river. We were working up a good sweat in the heat when we saw a rock formation that looked cool. So we climbed it. After pausing for a drink of water we started to climb back down. I noticed a stream of ants on one of the rocks (for those of you that don't know me I am severly allergic to bee stings and ant bites and a good bit of my time is spent avoiding insects. I have had two major incidents with bees and ants, one of which involved me flat-lining after cardiac arrest long enough for them to think me dead, and the other in which Geoff had to save my life with an Epipen and lots of crazy-fast driving.) so I stepped in the opposite direction to avoid the ants. Geoff had just jumped off the rock, so I followed. As geoff jumped off (sarcasm implied) a rainbow appeared and bunnies came to kiss him. I jumped off afterward IN THE SAME SPOT. Geoff turned around and told me I had something on my left ankle, and that I might want to brush it off. It was a bee. As I stooped a black swarm of death came up around me, stinging me six or seven times. Jenn and Geoff pushed me out of the nest, and we started to run the mile and a half back to the main park. Now at this point I was wondering how well my years of immunotherapy had done as my brain clouded a bit (bee and ant venoms are neurotoxins... being allergic to them amplifies the effects.) As we are running we pass several pissed-off looking hiker, including one guy that said "who is chasing who?" rather stupidly. I, being a little woosy and not really all there, stopped to talk to him. Geoff pushed me on. Later I realized that I was still wearing my pack (smart, Joe!) and stopped and gave it to Geoff. I then started to thank him sincerely (Neurotoxin!) and he pushed me on again. We eventually caught up with Jenn, and Park Rangers, Geoff, and Jenn took over. My job was to keep breathing and stay aware of things. The breathing part was fairly easy (the immunotherapy was working) but my brain was really foggy. I laid in Jenn's lap and she told me not to leave with about the most calm and soothing voice I could imagine. Despite all this it was getting hard to think. Luckily, Geoff brought around by saying "Hey Joe, there is no space on this form for "FAT" under the weight section." I laughed. So did everyone else. A swarm (no pun intended) of people were all around including Park Rangers, Paramedics, and scared (or just interested) park folks. I really just focused on Geoff and Jenn until I got in the Ambulance, where I met one of the coolest Paramedics ever. We talked and I came around after a series of epinephrine and antihistamines. We got to the hospital, waited, and I was released. The immunotherapy worked, and that night we celebrated Geoff saving my life again (Jenn's first time!) with Jack and Coke and Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. All was good. And besides that, it was a nice hike. Really.
So after a day of recovery, Jenn and I left back for Nashville. We drove through the Shannendoah National Park for about 110 miles. We saw Deer, Black Bear cubs, and it was 65 degrees. No lie. It was one of the best drives I've ever had, and the handling and manual transmission of Molly made it all the better. The company was great, too. Jenn and I drove over a thousand miles together over this trip and she never once got close to grating on my nerves in any way. Quite the contrary, she helped calm me down when other drivers were less than exemplary. It was awesome.
So after the parkway we took interstate, tried to stop at a Winery (it was closed) and braved a few more side roads until we got right outside of Nashville. We stopped at a Truck Stop for Bathroom and gas. The public restroom was closed, so I had to go upstairs to the trucker facilities. I got in there and saw one of those "Adult Novelties" dispensers on the wall. Remember "Freedom Fries?" Well, someone had thought it right to replace the word French on the label of this machine to produce an add for "Freedom Ticklers." Ha.
But that is the least of my bathroom adventures. As I was washing my hands, a rather burly man came up behind me. Close behind me. He told me I was pretty and tried to grab me. I stepped away and, being a bit delerious from 12 hours of driving (Jenn can't yet drive a manual) told him frankly, "Hey man, at least buy me a drink first." He looked at me funny and then I told him if he came any closer I'd kick his ass. He was much bigger than I, so I slipped by and Jenn and I left. Quickly. But on the bright side the soap in the bathroom had a pleasant floral scent!
So then I got back yesterday here to Anniston. Now all I have to do is pack. Thats right, orientation for Grad School is next week. A mile a minute, I'm telling you.
THE END (or is it?)... Well, really we all know its not. Sorry.
I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe