Thesis, Shmesis... Its Time for Giant Corn Dog on a Stick

Why hello.
Have you ever realized that paper can be used to create a time bomb?

Well I have.

Right now my thesis is ticking away on two seperate hard drives, a virtual drive, and my flash drive. I turn it in next friday, at which point it will either explode or continue to be paper. Either one. But the potential is there!

And how have I been preparing for this deadline, you may ask? Well originally I was supposed to spend the weekend in South Carolina with Will, Meghan, Liam and Liz. But Ha Liz came down with a cold and we didn't want to pass it on, so we didn't go. A great opportunity to work, right? Why Yes! So I promptly went to Big Spring Jam in Huntsville and saw the Black Crows.

Let me explain how this was work: it wasn't.

Let me explain how this was fun: in every way.

On friday I drove with Tonya up to Athens and we hung out, watched family guy, and generally did not work. Saturday we lounged around and watched the football game (ROOOLLLLLL TIIIIIDEEE!!! 4-0), then met up with Shane and Michelle to see some rockin' bands. I must say that the Black Crows continuously rocked, and that they were well complimented by some giant corn dogs on a stick eaten on the side of the road. Classy. After the show Shane and I had a classic Shane and Joe moment. What was it, you ask? Come hang out with one of us (or both of us) and the story will inevitably come up.

Anyway, Sunday we made it to Mass and dinner at O'Chaley's, where I had the most mediocre ceaser salad EVER. At O'Chaley's. Not Mass. Ummm. Yeah. On the way over, Tonya said she wanted some soup... the loaded potato soup they have. When we got there, there was no soup. Tonya was sad. And rightfully so. Instead, they had a broccoli and cheese deal, which I ordered with my salad. After an inordinately long time, the waiter came back and explained that they were out of the other soups, too. Why? Well, here you go:

WAITER: "When we ran out of potato soup they just dumped everything else out, too."

Perfect. Sense.

ALL SOUP OR NO SOUP!!! ALL SOUP OR NO SOUP!!! I didn't know that O'Chaley's was communist. It sounds Irish to me. But there you have it. Equal opportunity soup dumping.

Then they brought me my salad, and it had no croutons. I know this sounds picky, but in the description it said, "nice, crispy croutons." I wanted some crisp in my otherwise mushy salad, ok? So the nice waiter brought me a small bowl of croutons. They were stale.

The beginning of the week has been spent making up for this good time by pouinding out 12 to 14 hour days. But good news! I finished collecting MY FINAL DATA and I'll analyze it tonight, have a semi-final draft by saturday and then turn it in after Jamie's corrections next friday. The minute that last copy hits the desk I am off to Fiddler's. I can't wait. It'll be the sweetest Fiddler's ever, as I will be thesis free (at least until the formal defense on the 19th). I think I'm singing "Long Black Veil" again, since I've had no time to learn anything new.

Tick... tick... tick...

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

I'm A Modern Classic

Two pretty funny things today. The other day a friend and fellow grad student, Henry, pointed me toward a movie test that he actually wrote online. It is quite thorough and a lot of fun (although I didn't know what many the references were to). This is how my test turned out:

New and Improved You scored 41 Golden Classic, 60 Awesome Remake, 33 Needs No Change, and 11 Infomercial!

Wow, what a pleasant surprise. You are a remake of an incredible classic. Yet, not only do you not suck, you have really brought some new and exciting elements to the film. We are going to buy you as soon as you come out on DVD, as a matter of fact, we are going to buy the double disc set. And then should the criterion collection company release a special edition of you, we will also buy that DVD, and give the original one away to someone who we dont really care that much about, otherwise we would have bought them the new one.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Golden Classic You scored higher than 99% on Awesome Remake You scored higher than 99% on Needs No Change You scored higher than 0% on Infomercial

Link: The Gold Classic or Glitzy Remake Test written by diamondslacker on Ok Cupid

Geez, I hope that worked. Anyway, you should try it too. Look at me, I'm James Earl Jones!

Secondly, another friend and fellow grad student, Chris, sent me the following article about shaving. You don't think that would be that funny or exciting, right? No you should read this. Seriously.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

So otherwise things are pretty busy. Thesis gets turned in in three weeks!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Let me say that again. AHHHHHH!!!!!

Despite this, I am relatively unstressed. Who can say how this works? Not me. Well maybe I can, but thats for later.

Time to grade some papers.

I hope everyone is well!
Peace,
Joe

Better Tennis for Boys and Girls

I realized just now that I had not yet given an official "shout out" to the newest addition to the family, a mister Maddox. You can read more about his wonderful cuteness and how he came about on my cousin Danni's site (see the links to the right). I would like to amerliorate the no shout out situation. Here we go. Wait for it... SHOUT! OUT! MADDOX! I think thats the way thats done. Hmmm. Maybe I should just say "welcome to the family, Maddox" and "I'm very glad that you and Danni are happy and healthy" and "it was a true joy to hold you." So I will, and there you go. AND the shout out.

(and now, an abrupt transition)

So I seem to have turned into a vampire. Over the course of the last few weekends I have stayed up until 6 or 7 in the morning on 3 seperate occasions, the last two on two nights in a row. I have not grown funny teeth, been imbued with a great sense of fashion, or taken on a liking for the blood, so its not that serious, I think. But still. Vampire. Yeah. It could be that, or it could be that each time I was up hanging out with some very awesome folks. Or maybe one folk. Or maybe I just wanted to say up late enough to watch lots of infomercials. Wait, whats the singular form of folks? Anyway, its probably the hanging out thing. But the vampire explanation is cooler, and Occam's Razor ( http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/OCCAMRAZ.html ) does not apply to my website. The principle of Cool Stories does, though.

Yesterday I ended one such all nighter (at Shane's; yes, there was some hot tub involved. And maybe some drinking. Don't be alarmed!) by sleeping for a few hours and then going to mass at the Cathedral with my parents and Liz and Josh. A partner in my all night escapades, Tonya (see the reference to maybe one folk), also came to mass and got to stay for lunch, too. The Cathedral is giving away a bunch of old stuff from the school in preparation for some renovations, and Liz, Tonya, and I all went to check out the treasures. There were old shelves, records, and the like, but the real catches were found in the old books. We found such literary classics as "Lets Go to the Middle East!" (found by Liz), "How to Build Robots" (found by Tonya) and even "Gale Sayers, All-Star Runingback." (found by me and given to my dad). I also found "Better Tennis for Boys and Girls", one in a series of sports guides. My favorite though was an instructional book on how to shoot a set shot in basketball, something that hasn't been taught since before I was born. It included such instructions as "your body must be under control" and "you shouldn't even try shooting until the second half of your seventh grade year, as you will not have developed sufficient strength or coordination to shoot the ball into the goal." It is, I must say, TOTALLY AWESOME!!! The Robot book was a close second, talking quite a bit about how robots were fast becoming common in the home (like "microcomputers"), and that if it seemed like too much of a bother to build your own robot you could always just buy one. You know, at your local robot store. It was a great weekend capped by an equally great day.

And to set things up for the week, the other day Nick bought Milo's sweet tea, Little Debbie Jelly Rolls, and a Pony Keg of Grolsch. You have to prepared for the studying, you know, and Nick seems to have found a combination of stuff for all the possibilites of studying:
1) Milo's for fuel (still too hot for coffee)
2) Little Debbie for the inevitable snacking that accompanies hours of reading
3) 5 liters of good beer for when you give up and play LOTR Return of the King (tm).
He's a right smart young man, I tell you.

Well, its time to go back to an annotated bibilography on aging and working memory. A glass of Milo's awaits.

I hope everyone is well!
Peace,
Joe

Hurricane Katrina

In light of recent events down here in the South, I haven't found words to post here. I can say the the hurricane touched as far north and east as T-town, and that Nick and I were without power for about 5 days. During those five days we actually hosted a fwe friends from the New Orleans area. But thank God for no power, compared to the surreal destruction that increases exponentially the closer you get to New Orleans. There are almost 600 refugees in the Recreation Center here in town, and another couple hundred in various shelters. Its a juxtaposition thats almost indescribable to see UA students working out on weights just a few yards from someone's 2 by 8 feet of Red Cross provided home on the basketball court. I worked at the shelter the other night, and did a couple of head counts during the early morning hours when everyone was still asleep. A few people stirred and smiled... more than I think I could muster in their position.
I'll post again soon.

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe