Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Happy birthday to the man that helped bring five Chandler children into the world. On this day some years ago (it might be rude to say how many without his permission) my dad was born. Suffice to say that every call he's gotten so far he has said he is turning 112. I am broke, so I bought him a six pack of Guinness Stout and some chips for the day. We rented The Pianist and are now waiting for my younger (can't call him little when he's jumping out of airplanes) brother to call and say he has successfully completed a night jump. Thats about it. Tomorrow I'm off to Tuscaloosa to begin the process of getting ready for Grad school.

Thats about it, really. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY PA!

I hope everyone is well.
Peace,
Joe

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

For fun I added a mystery button of mystery in the right hand side of the page. Try it... IF YOU DARE!!! (Sarcasm intended heavily.)
There comes a time in every person's life when they say to themselves:
"Hey, I'm moving into a new house and the things that I need for that house cost money."
They may then say to themselves:
"Let's get a job!" (to collect money)

Like The Beatles said, "You know I work all day, to get the money, to buy you things."

Recetly, I said these things for myself and went in search of temporary employment. Hilarity ensued.

I found out through a friend of Jenn's that I could make some fast money by parking cars with a local Valt service. The pay supposedly good, and the people would not mind me working for only a month. I like cars. I like to drive cars. Ka-Pow! I thought. Instant job.

So I met with the manager guy on a Saturday to get my uniform and instructions on what to do and where to go. I was to park cars at a wedding reception at the Birmingham Museum of Art that night, and he gave me a shirt, a small carabeener with the company logo and the instructions "don't wreck any cars." Complete on the job training in less than two minutes. Quality.
When I got to the Museum I saw my co-workers. There were about ten guys, all arounf my age. They seemed nice enough. I say and talked the small talk with one of them, you know, stuff like "where do you go to school" and the like. I said I went to BSC. He looked at me, laughed, and said "you mus' beez a BrAINYack, man." Yes, the night was going to proceed like that.
Eventually some cars showed up, and I caught on fairly quickly. It was fun, almost. I drove some nice fancy cars that weren't mine, and was wearing a shirt with epilets even. I'd never done either before, really. So after about ten cars, they stopped coming. Then three huge charter buses rolled up, and all our potential customers jumped out. Every guy there, even me (it was that obvious) groaned as our tip money walked in the door, ready to get drunk and take the bus back. It ended up that about 30 cars came, and ten guys were there to park them. The more experienced guys just got up and left, not even really saying anything to our shift supervisor. After awhile it was just me, a nice guy that knoew alot about Diablo II, and the shift supervisor. We waited and waited and waited. We got there at 6pm. By 11pm I was getting tired of telling drunk girls that I didn't smoke and that they'd have to ask someone else for a light. Then, at about 11:30pm, folks atarted coming out. ALL AT ONCE. The ten guys that had parked 30 cars over a long period were now 3 trying to go get 30 all at once. We ran around like cartoons and fetched everything from BMWs to Merdedes to Volvos and every sort of SUV. You'd think that there would be some money involved with all those cars. Nope. Some people gave us nothing at all. And as I got out of one $80,000 Beamer I went for my phone in a momentary lull in the storm, to check messages. Not there. You guessed it, it fell out in the car. And the guy didn't even tip me.
So we finally got all the cars out, all the drunk people on buses, and all the sparklers (yes, a few hundred drunk people lit sparklers to send off the bride and groom in a TINY space. There was much burning.) cleaned up and were ready to split the tips and go home when we saw that the traffic cones were not picked up. The people that had set everything up had been allowed to go home earlier, and we were conned into the job. We cleaned up the cones. All of the heavy, in-the-middle-of-the-damn-street cones. Then we went and split our tips. It came out to about $25.00 per person for six hours of horrible work. Fast money. Geez.
I then walked wearily to my new car, Molly, who was parked in the middle of 19th North, all alone. All alone except for the crazy man that was jumping up and down like a monkey on my trunk. You read correctly. HE WAS JUMPING ON MY TRUNK LIKE A MONKEY. I don't know if her was trying to brake into it or if he was just crazy, but it was not good. I thought of something to say to make him stop. I finally yelled "HEY!" once I got about fifty feet from the car. He ran away. Instead of trying to call the police on the phone that was now in the front floorboard of the stingy man I had valeted earlier, I just twent back to Jennifer's house.
On the way there I enjoyed the responsiveness of the manual transmission. Random comment I know, but with no hidden meaning. I just really like my car.
When I got there Jenn was on the couch reading and I explained it all to her. Now you've heard it too. And I don't mean to be sappy or cliche or any of those things, but seeing her at the end of that day made things better.
Going back to The Beatles, "Money can't buy me love."

Such was my foray into the land of Valet parking.
I hope everyone is well (and is enjoying their jobs).

Peace,
Joe

Friday, July 11, 2003

WOWIE MCZOWIE!!!!

Wow, where the hell did that come from? I mean, wowie mczowie? C'mon, Joe.

Oh yes, I remember what prompted such a dork-tacular and un-called-for exclamation!

WILL HAS UPDATED HIS WEBSITE!!!

You should go there and read. Its grand. And as of late, rare.
I must go. However, I will post more later.

I hop everyone is well!
Peace,
Joe

Friday, July 04, 2003

Why hallo there! I know it has been a long, long time since I have published anything that had to do with the "goind on" of my life, but the site has been redesigned and much has been going on. I visited both my brothers, bought a new car, and started recording an album. I also sold my old car (Daisy). And bought a new Palm Pilot. So many things. So to start of we will GO BACK IN TIME!!! To when I flew up to Washington to see my brother Geoff and his fiance Stacy.
A few weeks ago I started my super trip by flying from Birmingham to Baltimore. Frank Cribbs was the attendant at the Southwest desk, and it was good seeing him and talking to him. Also I didn't get secondarily screened! That was verrry nice. The flight up there was flawless, and only about 30 people were on the plane. I had about six rows to myself, which I promptly used to stretch out and read and sleep, something that, if you have ever flown on Southwest, is not normally possible. I got up there and Stacy picked me up from the airport and took me to the Saturn of Alexandria dealership where my brother works. We proceeded to have great Chandler brother fun, which consisted of riding around in the company golf cart, going to a bike shop and taking an "extended test drive" in my new car. At this point she had no name, but I knew she was going to be awesome. She' a Green 2003 Ion2 Sedan with tan interior. Supa keen. So Geoff and I had a great day and then went back to his apartment where we played alot of Halo. Over the next coupl of days we hung out in general, ate good food, went on A TOTALLY AWESOME bike trip to Roosevelt Island and played the impossible never-ending game of chess. It was grand. I also got to hang out with Stacy more than I ever really have. She is one coooool cat, I tells ya. We had much fun.
I then drove the new Ion down to South Carolina where I stayed with my brother Will for a few days. He had to work duing the day, so when he was gone I played with Liebten (yes, I got to see her, too! A supa keen trip, yes?) and read Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Or at least I tried. Its one of those things I think you should read, you know? Anyway, when Will was home we cooked awesome food, (I know I have said a few things about food, but I ate SO WELL on this trip) and Jammed. Alot. We jammed like jammin' fools. There was one day when we got in this funk and ended up practicing, recording, and mastering four songs. That is a whole bunch. We were on such a tear that we wouldn't even move or shower or anything (I assure you, we showered that day... just later). From that day came forth the ::MUSIC PLAYS:: CHANDLER BROTHERS DEMO!!!! It has four songs on it that will eventually end up on our album Overt/Covert. They are (in order) Mayor Squirrel, What We Lack, She Said She Said, and Just Like Heaven. Two originals and two covers. We had a great time recording, and I can't wait to finish it. We have a good, clean, almost live sound. I hope other people like it.
So after that I came homw with Will and went to the doctor about my ankles (finally). It turned out so well! Since I am not a competitive ball player anymore, no surgery! I have severe tendonitis in both ankles and will be going through some nifty physical therapy for awhile, but no surgery! HOORAY!
Then Will went to New Mexico to visit Meghan since she is out there working on her Masters. I have been here (in Anniston) dog sitting and attempting to get stuff in order to start thinking about putting together Nick's and my house. My Ion has earned her name. It is Molly. Green, fast, Irish. Thats my new car. She's made in America, but she's Irish. Trust me.
I have also sold Daisy to a very nice young woman with a child, expecting another child, and needs safe, reliable transportation around town. Daisy will serve her well. It may make me cry when she finally goes, but she can be more useful somewhere else. Sad :( Selling her has not been easy, either. Yesterday I delt with out sparkling county government ALL DAY and still had problems to work out in terms of her sale and establishing Molly's Alabama title. But no worries. All will work out.
Last night Jennifer came over in sort of a surprise (I knew about it, but its hard for her to get away from camp and come here) and I cooked dinner for everyone. You watch Will cook for a week and you learn things. We had zucchini, green and black olive sauce over angel hair pasta with a mushroom and spiniach salad with a balsamic vinagerette. It was pretty good! (Which surprised me and pleased everyone else). Jenn got me two books for when she thought I was going to have ankle surgery. She is one thoughtful lady. One was a children's book called I like You and the other was by one of my psych heroes Dan Wegner, called The Illusion of Conscious Will. I've read the first and its wonderful, and the second is now on my reading list. Like I said, she is one awesome lady.
So that brings me to today, if you have read this far. Tomorrow is my mom's birthday, and we'll be cooking out. Good times for all.
Again, if you read ll of this you are a true friend.
Or bored.
I hope everyone is well!
Peace,
Joe